Where I go from here..

In January of 2012, I established this blog in order not to only write about how I feel about life, but more importantly, on the issues of moral and spiritual values. At that time it was one of my hopes that it would help the readers consider these things in their daily lives. In February, I contracted with Balboa Press, a division of Hay House, to self publish a 365 day book. As I progressed, I decided to base my entries more on my experiences and things I have learned, and continue to learn, on my journey. This brought more originality to my ideas. I began to see my book as a guidebook for living including "thoughts for thought," my philosophies,  and tips for daily living, as well as on moral and spiritual values. I believe that if we had the same moral guidelines and philosophies throughout the world, it would be a better place and we would have a good chance at peace. I hope to achieve helping others learn how they can leave the world a better place than they found it and live fulfilled and joyful lives along the way. As the noted psychiatrist, Scott Peck, states in his acclaimed book, The Road Less Traveled, "Life is difficult..." My theme is that life is a continual journey and we should not settle into complacency and self absorption, but rather have goals of reaching spiritual heights, being true to ourselves, and helping others, therefore, finding peaceful ways of living with unresolved issues. I have completed the course I took on blogging authentically and found that blogging is not really my medium, nor is it Facebook's. My intent has always been to write a 365 guidebook for living and that is what I am exclusively doing now. This is my last blog. I plan to  have The Book of Lane to an editor from StoryCircle.com and Balboa Press in 2014. I write from my own perspective, wisdom, and experiences.

The Book of Lane

For those of you who aren't on Facebook and didn't get the news, I should explain that my blogs stopped on September 8th due to a online class I began on September 17th.  The class is through a women's group I  joined called StoryCircle and the class is entitled "How to Use Your Authenticity to Find Your Audience."  I am learning so much and enjoying it.  I am due back to be writing blogs on this site the 2nd of November.  If you are on Facebook with me, you got my notification.  If you are interested in what I have been doing in my class, please go into thebookoflane.wordpress.com.  I have been using this site to organize my thoughts for the 365 eclectic day book I am writing.  The first three blogs explain my intent, and the next few are some entries for what I now call a blog-a-book.  These last blog entries will be used on this blog on blogspot.

You Will Not Be Unhappy If You Are Grateful

A study was done about what causes people to feel unhappy, and in turn what makes them happy. It was found that people can be unhappy and loving at the same time, and also unhappy and serving others at the same time. However, the test showed that people cannot be unhappy and grateful at the same time. To be grateful means we are fulfilled, thankful, and appreciative. When we are focused on what we are grateful for the results are feelings of joy, happiness, and pleasure. We can be grateful for many things from the people who listen to us and love us to the material possessions that mean a lot to us. We won't have unhappy, distressed, and unpleasant feelings which are disagreeable to our senses and thoughts. When we are grateful, we are not depressed and discontent, instead our countenance becomes one of cheerfulness, and we have a sense of being glad to be alive. We are satisfied and fulfilled, and our state of being is marked by peace and contentment. Happiness is one of the by-products of being grateful. If we have joy and are doing the right things, and  living the right way (and we know  it), we will be happy. When we give thanks for what we have and what we have accomplished we can't possibly be unhappy. As an example, one time when I was sad and hurt, someone told me to make a gratitude list noting all the things I was grateful for and while I was doing it I realized these were the things that made me the happiest and I began to feel better. So when you are miserable and down and out, take a good look at what you have, especially your God given gifts and the the non-material, positive qualities no one can take away from you. Chances are you will soon feel the feelings gratefulness and happiness create.

Are You Fulfilled?

On line I participate in a Daily Challenge everyday put on by Me You Health.Yesterday our challenge was to explore our best self by finishing the sentence: "I always feel fulfilled when I....." We are told that "as we make it through our busy days we usually don't  have time to stop and think about what makes us our best and most fulfilled selves. By taking a moment to explore what fulfills us, it helps remind us what's special and purposeful about our lives." It appears that Me You Health was referencing something specific, but being fulfilled can also mean we are satisfied with our lives overall. On one level, we find fulfillment from within, on another level it is because we have obtained or accomplished something tangible. Fulfillment goes more hand and hand with contentment than it does with happiness, as contentment and fulfillment are more deeply felt from the heart and they cause a certain sense of peace, whereas happiness is marked by the experience of  joy or pleasure. Fulfillment and contentment from within are states of being where we are comfortable with our situation in life and in alignment with our tastes, likings, environment, and circumstances. There is also a feeling of being acceptable not only to others, but ourselves. We don''t ask for more than life presents to us and don't complain or blame. There was a cute story I read on line about a dairy company in the 1900's whose slogan was "Our milk is good milk because it comes from contended cows." When we are fulfilled, we are working towards, or have achieved, what we have sought for: a goal, a passion, a purpose, a dream, or a vision. Ultimately, we may develop a philosophy of living so that we can become fulfilled and thereby live richer, deeper, and more satisfying lives. It seems to me, just my spin on it, that  being fulfilled means we are "filled up." How would you complete the sentence, "I always feel fulfilled when I..... ?"

Procrastination is just one Habit

Procrastination is usually considered a bad habit as it is thinking about something we feel we should be doing while we are doing something else. It is delaying, or putting off, a project, doing something for someone else, or going somewhere we don't want to go. It may be unpleasant or difficult, or just something we don't feel like doing. People who procrastinate, or have other bad habits, are often plagued by guilt and berate themselves. A solution regarding habits like procrastination is to simply feel the emotions of not wanting to do what we really feel we should be doing and accepting how we truly feel on the inside. Acceptance helps free us to make calm, thoughtful, and rational decisions; rejection of our feelings and emotions makes us run back to our bad habits for comfort and a vicious cycle begins. We seem to look away from our flaws and mistakes, in other words, deny them. We need to see them and address them quickly and continuously accepting everything that happens without condemnation. Procrastination is just one habit we may become anxious over, not exercising may be another. I don't know about you, but I have a list. It seems strange, but our habits are comfortable because they are what we know and there is often fear of the unknown. Then too, giving up a bad habit may lead to liking ourselves better which we may be uncomfortable with as well, sabotaging is a real thing. So, the best way to improve a bad habit is to first accept it unconditionally, feeling the feelings, then visualize what we would like to do (eliminate or substitute), and lastly, make a conscious choice out of the positive rather than the negative.

Music - the International Language

Music is everywhere and can mean many things to many people. We can laugh to music, and we can cry. The best description of music I could find is: an artistic form of auditory communication incorporating instrumental and or vocal tones in a structured and continual manner. I read once that the harmony and melody of music is in the gaps between the notes, or it would just be continual noise. Musical sounds are usually pleasing and soothing, but when they are not, we can turn them off, unlike the thoughts in our minds. In fact music can be a healthy escape from our thoughts. Music is found everywhere and in every country. Different cultures have different instruments so our worldwide music is very diverse. We hear music in churches to dance clubs; there are even musical sounds to wind chimes and the breeze through the trees. There are various kinds of music from classical to rock to country to jazz, and they all have interesting roots. One singer, by the name of Barry White, who died a couple of years ago, began singing gospel songs and then he became a popular soul singer eventually forming an instrumental orchestra. Some of us can identify with lyrics like these sung by Mr. White: "Let the music play, I just wanna dance the night away, right here, right now where I'm gonna stay all night long. Let the music play on, let the feeling I feel go on...misery is gone, keep the music strong, let it play on and on, let it play on and on." There are always new artists and trends. Frank Sinatra surely had no clue someone like Lady Gaga would show up. From kids to elderly people, there is also an interest in making music. There are even high school and college marching bands. Music can bring back, as well as create, memories. It is healing and relaxing and can help with depression and anxiety, not to mention stress. However, it can also be invigorating, We dance, sing, and exercise to music, as well as go to concerts, musicals, and operas. We can tune in music on the radio, the TV, and the Interent, and now almost everyone has some portable type of music player with ear phones. Music in all its forms has come a long way and will always be a part of us.

How Do You Handle Disappointment?...

.....probably not very well, no one does. Disappointment occurs when something doesn't go the way we thought it was going to go, or be what we wanted it to be. In other words, what we have speculated as an outcome was not successful; our hope or expectation has been hindered. People and places can disappoint us, and so can things. For example, when something we buy doesn't work, we wonder, "Why wasn't this tested?" Disappointments can be specific or general. Typically, if someone says they will do something, or take us somewhere, and don't, it is natural to be disappointed. And, generally, perhaps we are disappointed when we thought highly of a person only to find out he wasn't what we thought him to be. More broadly speaking, our disappointments can be directed at the the foibles of the human race. Feelings are hurt for many reasons, but especially so when we are disappointed. Disappointments lead to emotions like anger and sadness, and we may even feel rejected because usually we take disappointments personally. Almost always  what leads to disappointments are expectations. Although it makes sense to expect good things and be excited, at the same time we have to be prepared they might not happen. There has to be a balance between expectations (especially high ones) and no expectations at all. The trouble arises when we focus on the one thing(s) that we are looking forward to. Disappointments can be real or imagined, so it is important to be realistic. Robert Kiyosaki, American investor, self help author, and motivational speaker, had this to say: "The size of your success is measured by the strength of your desire; the size of your dream; and, how you handle disappointment along the way." Everyone suffers from disappointments, maybe even two or three times a day, unless they have had a lot of mindfulness and  living in the moment training and experience.