Confidence and Concentration

These are two very important qualities that the contestants in the Olympics need to have.  First of all they have to believe in themselves and have confidence.  Confidence is a French word, spelled the same way and means, “firmly trusting, bold.” There needs to be a freedom from doubt, a certainty and self-assurance of their abilities. The other quality is the power of mental concentration, focusing all efforts and activities to bear upon one thing or one activity; an intense mental effort, immersion, and absorption of all faculties. If you have watched the faces of the contenders you will see a certain look, an intense look, a focused look. I particularly noticed it in the gymnasts during the floor exercises, balance beam, and the parallel bars. There is complete confidence, concentration, and attention to what is about to be done that continues during the execution of the sport.  Because they are confident and trusting of their abilities, there is less anxiety and fear.  Last night, Missy Franklin from the United States, swam two races back to back with only 10 minutes in between which was unheard of.  In the first race, the 200m freestyle, she qualified 8^th, but in the second race, the 100m backstroke, she won the gold medal. Afterwards in the interview, she was asked how she did it.  She said one coach said to keep the events separate, and the other coach told her to stay calm and relaxed. Over many years of serious training the Olympiads learn ways of combating feelings of anxiety and nervousness.  Besides relaxing and staying calm, they learn to take deep breaths.  Another useful technique is called visualization.  Visualization is seeing oneself making the jump, hitting the ball, crossing the finish line.  It is projecting the win by imagining and conceiving of it as well as envisioning something happen that is invisible, abstract and not present yet.  Not only is the Olympics interesting and exciting to watch, we can learn from the Olympiads to be confident, poised, calm, centered, and living in the moment.

Competition

While the Olympics are going on, I have been playing electronic scrabble.  I haven't experienced a competition like this since I played board games when I was younger, and although friendly, I find I really I want to win. It is true that the Olympics is a competition with contestants or contenders, but it is actually more of a rivalry.  A rivalry where someone wants to win at something and prove that he is the best; further, a rivalry when contestant wants the same reward and their talents are about equal.  In the Olympics there is either competition as a group action, or among individuals, and then there is a further overall goal to win the overall games by accumulating the most medals.  The Olympic Games are ancient, origins of which are embraced by myth and legend.  Records indicate they started around 776 BC in Olympia Greece and were as much of a festival as a religious event.  Competitions/rivalries may be friendly or unfriendly; probably the best word for Olympic rivalry is that it is “intense.”  But, certainly baseball, basketball, soccer, and football competitions are tough and intense as well.  “Competing in sports has taught me that if I am not willing to give 120 percent, someone else will,” said Ron Blomberg, famous baseball player for the New York Yankees.  There is competition in everything from chess to ice skating.  It is obvious that people love a good competition.  It was estimated one billion people would watch the Olympics on television.  Originally the Olympic athletes were required to be amateurs, but over the years many countries were loosely defining this, so the IOC decided to let each sport’s governing body decide who could and couldn’t compete. Today almost all of the competitions in the Olympics accept professional athletes.  In the Olympics, the Olympiad’s compete against themselves (to set a better record), as well as try to be the best in their sport, and contribute toward the overall winning of the games.  The following is a quote by Stephanie Rice, Australian Olympic swimmer, “And I guess the thing I sort of rely on in me is that I love racing and I love competing and so I know that you know when the time comes and the pressure’s on and I have to swim well, well I am sort of able to pull it out and sort of get the best of myself.”  She was a hopeful in the 400 mile individual medley.  However, according to the Herald Sun, she lost her Olympic title and her world record today finishing sixth in the 400m medley.  She has been battling a shoulder injury and it takes just one race.  There is competition in almost everything, just think of all the advertising and marketing that retailers do.  It seems that everyone, everywhere, is in competition with others for something, even in relationships.

Adventures

Adventures can happen every day, in fact, the person who lives an exciting, fulfilled life, probably has some everyday, or all day, everyday, may be an adventure.  “Be careful of going in search of adventure – it is ridiculously easy to find.” is what the American travel writer William Least Heat-Moon had to say.  Planned adventures are undertakings that often involve strange places with strange people, different sights and sounds, and surprising twists and turns.  Adventures are usually very thrilling and perhaps risky.  Before an adventure is embarked upon it is a good idea to be prepared. There is even a book on Amazon.com that has five stars called The Adventurer’s Handbook: From surviving an Anaconda attack to finding Your Way Out of a Desert by Mick  Conefrey. And we all have heard of books about adventures, such as The Adventures of Tom Sawyer by Mark Twain.  Adventures are when the chain of routine is broken and life is renewed through reading new books, traveling to new places, making new friends, taking up new hobbies, and adopting new viewpoints.  They lead to new experiences and open new doors.  All adventures are not something actively that we do. They may be adventures of the mind and the emotions as well. George Eliot, the writer, had this to say, “Adventure is not outside a man, it is within.” Unafraid of new ideas, new theories, and new philosophies, the adventurer has a curiosity to experience, test, and try new ways of thinking and living.  He is flexible in adjusting and adapting himself to the changing patterns of life and standing up for himself and what he believes in. A true adventurer considers life a constant quest for the noblest and the best. He keeps his head up and works through tough problems and is not afraid of difficulties. An adventuresome person recognizes that the only limit life has is the one he gives it and comes to realize that he is surrounded by infinite possibilities for growth and achievement. He keeps his heart young and stays vitally alive by realizing life itself is a wonderful adventure.  Alfred North Whitehead (British mathematician and philosopher) wrote, “Art flourishes where there is a sense of adventure,” and one could say this about dreams and purposes as well.

Powerlessness

Being powerless can be good and bad.  To accept certain things in life is necessary for happiness and maturity, like realizing we are getting old, or, if we have an addiction, to realize we can never have that drug or drink again and be okay with it.  Therefore, with a form of powerless there is a feeling of acceptance.  On the other hand, we may feel powerless over things that should empower us, like taking care of ourselves and not giving up.  This would be particularly true if we have a health challenge and can do something about it.  To empower means to realize our potential and abilities and render ourselves capable or able to do some task.  Powerlessness is not producing the intended effect, or not capable of doing or not wanting to do, a task, whereas having power is having force, potency, effecting a result, being compelling, and strong. Powerlessness can be a non action, a giving up, mentally and/or physically.  It can also be a feeling.  As a feeling, powerlessness usually means accepting the person, place, situation in question.  Powerless is associated with surrender, but although surrender is giving up control of something or someone, it implies resignation and the acknowledgment of defeat.  However, when rendering oneself powerless it is not about defeat.  With powerlessness comes frustration, the inability to be able to do something about a situation.  There may be situations that we have no control over which are important to us; family situations are often the cause of worry and dismay.  If we can’t do anything, or aren’t asked, we feel powerless and may be.  It is important to search for serenity when we feel powerless about being able to do what we would like to do, or help where we would like to help.  We need to know the difference when to exert power and when to let go.  We need to know when we can help and when we can’t. Two excellent techniques when feeling powerless are: number one, to say the Serenity Prayer written by theologian Reinhold Niebuhr, “God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference,” and number two, to take deep breathes.  Deep breathing is known to relax one under stress and cause a calming effect.  Regarding the “wisdom to know the difference” in the prayer, sometimes the best thing is to do nothing, and then again, it may be a time to get into action and empower ourselves as this helps not only with indecision, but with the frustration and restlessness of feeling powerless

Let's Talk About Fun

Playing and having fun are two of the most important things we can do, and probably two things we don’t have as our priorities, but maybe we do.  Those of us that have fun know that the pleasure of fun and play are as necessary as rest and renewal.  And, most successful people have learned the art of having fun and finding pleasure. To have fun is to have purely enjoyable experiences and activities.  There is amusement, merriment, playfulness, and even being frivolous or silly.  Anything that is not serious or taken serious-minded.  Sometimes we have to make our own fun and happiness out of a serious situation.  Fun leads to good thoughts, high spirits, and having a sense of humor.  Look for the comical and the laughable.  One of the stress busters is to find something  fun in every day, something to look forward to. To be a playful person and engaged in activities for no other reason than to be light-hearted.  Fun can be comfort, set aside time just for us to do fun things by ourselves, or in recreational activities with other people, capering, romping, and enjoying each other’s company and maybe even their wit and joke telling.  “If you watch a game, it’s fun. If you play it, it’s recreation  If you work at it, it’s golf,” Bob Hope. It is nice to be around people who are having fun, but it is also pleasurable to be with ourselves when we are experiencing it.  When we are active physically in fun and recreation, physical tiredness invites relaxation and sleep  Life isn’t meant to be so serious.  When we are serious, we are sober in manner and characteristics, completely lacking in playfulness, and often are in a grave state or condition. “Modern man must learn to break the tensions of daily living or the tension will break him,” is what essayist Wilferd A. Peterson had to say about fun and playfulness. Watch a child at play, they are so happy and live in the moment.  We learn to be serious and think negative thoughts, we aren’t born that way.  We should strive to become more childlike.  I am going to say to you, what Franklin D. Roosevelt had to say, “It is fun to be in the same decade with you.”

Caring

As a noun, care means to handle with care as when a package is fragile.  As a verb, it means concerned about someone or something, giving attention to and having an interest in. We can care about anything from our car, to a plant, to a person or animal. For example, if we care for our car we handle the required maintenance and upkeep. For people and animals, we have caretakers and caregivers. A caretaker is one who maintains buildings, grounds, or animals. Caretakers, take care of.  When we are responsible for, help, assist, and attend to the needs of a child or dependent adult, we are called a caregiver, we give care. Also there are the professional caregivers, e.g., "he is under the care of his doctor." Care taking and care giving mean the same thing in the sense of managing and working by being actively involved in maintaining someone or something in good "working order." As well as being responsible for the safety and protection of. As a caregiver it means to be compassionate and sympathetic, to have respect and regard for. It can be said that the staff members, the personal care assistants, the certified nursing assistants, and so on are the heroes for those living a nursing facility, or having care at home. The word careful means cautious in one's actions and being mindful. It also means approaching things accurately and thoroughly. The opposite of care taking, care giving, and careful is careless: not paying attention to, negligent, reckless, unmindful, and having no concern. Different than careless, and yet not fitting the description of care, is carefree, which simply means without anxiety or worry, lighthearted, joyous, elated, and cheerful.  Goals are to have a careful and carefree caretaker and a careful and carefree caregiver. Another form of caring is to have affection, fondness, or a liking for, and everything from wanting strongly, to having a special preference. Caring has become so widespread that it is common to hear, "handle with "TLC," which stands for, tender loving care. There are so many ways we can care, so many people, animals, and things to give our attention to and be interested in.

Purpose

Having a purpose gives us meaning in life. On March 29th I wrote "What Makes Life Meaningful?" based on the book that Viktor Frankl wrote, entitled Man's Search for Meaning. His premise was that man's greatest need was to  have meaning in his life. Basically meaning and having a purpose mean the same thing. Meaning, however, leans more toward our intangible qualities such as working toward personal growth, being a good person, and helping others. In writing about purpose, I am writing about something, or things, that are productive or substantial that we can leave behind, often for the good of mankind. It may be a painting good enough to be hung in the Museum of Modern Art, or our nonprofit organizations that have as their purpose to find a cure for cancer or other debilitating diseases. But purposes don't have to be as lofty as these, it  may be a goal of a human resources director to help employees with insurance benefit questions. Usually when you think of someone's purpose in life, you think of good things. If people do not have any purpose(s), they tend to drift through life wondering what the point of living is. They may even become hopeless, because not only don't they have anything to work for, they aren't validated. Supposedly we all  have a purpose in life, but that's not to say that we all find it, or perhaps our ambitions fail. To have a purpose is to aim for something, to set an intention, to attempt to achieve a goal: a purpose is established with ideas from our environment or our imagination, talents are recognized, and a decision is made to move forward. There is a firmness of resolve. We become enthusiastic, energized, motivated, and most often passionate about what we want to achieve. Hopefully we have validation on our journey; however, sometimes we just have to go it alone, and do so because of our belief in our purpose. On the side of optimism, Henry David Thoreau wrote, "I have learned that if one advances confidently in the direction of his dreams and endeavors to live the life he has imagined, he will meet with a success unexpected in common hours." So go for it!

Optimism

Optimism is expecting the best to happen, projecting that all will be well. When my mother was going through tough times in her 90's wondering what would happen to her, I used to tell her to "think good thoughts." So many of our self improvement gurus talk and write about attracting good into our lives by thinking about good things, thinking about the positive instead of the negative, in other words, being optimistic. Norman Vincent Peale wrote a very inspiring and famous international best selling book published in 1952. Dr. Peale was a clergyman who was so interested in mental health that he established an out patient clinic next to his church. In the book, The Power of Positive Thinking, he wrote that maintaining positive thinking and a healthy and positive attitude would bring happiness and success. He helped many people achieve fulfillment in their lives. Today many books and sites on the computer deal with peace and serenity, so many people are searching. Since we do have choices as to what we think, the thought here is we might as well think about good things, and that everything is going to turn out okay, until proven otherwise. There is a direct opposite of optimism.  This is pessimism, and consequently it means the expectation that everything is wrong, or will go wrong, that most everything in life is bad. Have you ever known someone who has problem after problem, problems just seem to follow the person? Nothing ever seems to work out right for them. We are told that this is the nature of being negative and that negativity breeds negativity. Negative people don't enjoy their lives and can ruin not only their day, but another's. On the other hand, an optimistic person sees the good in life and seems to attract good, like the positive charge of a magnet. They are high energy people. A common expression about  how life is generally seen is: "the glass half full or half empty." This analogy means having a natural disposition that is either optimistic or pessimistic in the extreme, optimism being a full glass and pessimism, an empty one. For the optimistic person, his glass is even more than half full and is always that way. His temperament, or the way he seems his life mostly all the time, is joyful, having an overall feeling that all is well and will be well. People who are optimistic are not only nice to be around, but encouraging because of their enthusiasm and cheerfulness; and yet, they also seem to have an aurora of calmness about them. This is because they think, feel, and talk about, the bright side of life.  These are the people we refer to as having a "sunny disposition." Those who are optimistic are hopeful, feeling confident that their desires will be fulfilled. They are positive people even in the face of adversity, always finding a way to see the glass "full."  

Two Kinds of Success

When we think of being successful, do we think of owning things, or having qualities of "being?" Is success having that new car or a piece of expensive jewelry, or is it developing the qualities of love, faith, kindness, encouragement, and compassion which  make us successful as family members, workers, friends, and citizens? Actually, we can be successful at both. For when we are successful in eternal qualities we cannot help but be successful in our lives, and this success most certainly can lead to material success. Either way, success is individual and personal, and everyone's definition of it is different and varied. To want to succeed is normal and is a good thing. By definition, success is attaining or accomplishing an intended purpose or goal. It is any venture that ends well whether it is a self made business man, or a mother who raises her children on her own to be solid citizens. It is that movie star who is achieves an academy award, or a generous person who compassionately works with children in a third world country. Life is a series of goals and successes and is perpetual growth. Some successes lead to financial prosperity and some don't, but we do learn. A person seeking success can't help but have a sound mental attitude bringing forth joy, optimism, confidence, courage, imagination, initiative, innovation, and enthusiasm. Other goals may call forth faith, love, humility, patience, honesty, and tolerance. When we are truly successful we have lead with our hearts and fallen in love with our lives and our journeys. The thrill of it all involves the process of discovering our best talents, skills, abilities, and personal characteristics. The characteristics, attributes, qualities, whatever you choose to call them, are those things which I have been writing about all these months as current as the last one on "personal honesty." Our journeys on the way to accomplish our goals allow us to see what we are made of, and in the process some of us may even make an effective contribution to our fellow man, for to succeed is to be productive. To become successful demands concentration and focusing on doing whatever it takes to excel until the goal is reached. However, success may entail failure, therefore, the process includes having the courage to move through defeat and come out on the other side. Goals and successes continually are reached, some more quickly than others, and then there are those successes that become part of us, for once we learn to love and care, do we ever stop?