Powerlessness

Being powerless can be good and bad.  To accept certain things in life is necessary for happiness and maturity, like realizing we are getting old, or, if we have an addiction, to realize we can never have that drug or drink again and be okay with it.  Therefore, with a form of powerless there is a feeling of acceptance.  On the other hand, we may feel powerless over things that should empower us, like taking care of ourselves and not giving up.  This would be particularly true if we have a health challenge and can do something about it.  To empower means to realize our potential and abilities and render ourselves capable or able to do some task.  Powerlessness is not producing the intended effect, or not capable of doing or not wanting to do, a task, whereas having power is having force, potency, effecting a result, being compelling, and strong. Powerlessness can be a non action, a giving up, mentally and/or physically.  It can also be a feeling.  As a feeling, powerlessness usually means accepting the person, place, situation in question.  Powerless is associated with surrender, but although surrender is giving up control of something or someone, it implies resignation and the acknowledgment of defeat.  However, when rendering oneself powerless it is not about defeat.  With powerlessness comes frustration, the inability to be able to do something about a situation.  There may be situations that we have no control over which are important to us; family situations are often the cause of worry and dismay.  If we can’t do anything, or aren’t asked, we feel powerless and may be.  It is important to search for serenity when we feel powerless about being able to do what we would like to do, or help where we would like to help.  We need to know the difference when to exert power and when to let go.  We need to know when we can help and when we can’t. Two excellent techniques when feeling powerless are: number one, to say the Serenity Prayer written by theologian Reinhold Niebuhr, “God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference,” and number two, to take deep breathes.  Deep breathing is known to relax one under stress and cause a calming effect.  Regarding the “wisdom to know the difference” in the prayer, sometimes the best thing is to do nothing, and then again, it may be a time to get into action and empower ourselves as this helps not only with indecision, but with the frustration and restlessness of feeling powerless