Change

Change is inevitable, sometimes we like it and sometimes we don't. Whether a change is welcome or not is not the issue, it is how we respond to it. We can try and hold tightly to what is being changed, try to keep things the same, and be uncomfortable because it is happening anyway. Or we can lean into the change, be adaptable and flexible, and accept it into our lives. As Alan Watts has to say, "The harder we try to catch hold of the moment, to seize a pleasant sensation...the more elusive it becomes..." The only thing that doesn't change is change itself, except for the past. Change can be minor or transformative. It is all right to feel disappointed, skeptical, resentful, joyous, excited, or confused about our changing circumstances. The important thing is to accept what we feel. No matter how permanently fixed in the center of our lives it may seem, whatever we experience in this ever-changing life is sure to pass. And difficult situations often bring out qualities in us that otherwise might not have risen to the surface, such as courage, faith, and our need for one another. As far as changing ourselves is concerned, no one can make us change and no one can stop us from changing. Only we can decide what changes we want to make and know that it only takes a slight shift in direction to begin to change our lives. We can only change ourselves, it is an exercise in futility and frustration to try and change the behavior of others. The serenity prayer by Reinhold Niebuhr is pertinent here as he tells us to pray for the courage to change the things we can and have the wisdom to know what we can't. Possibly the best way to react to change is to experience all that life has to offer by remaining teachable when change comes. Staying open minded, replacing old ides with the new, and as changes occur letting go of old defenses and attitudes that aren't working work for us anymore. If we don't get too attached to any one way to approach life, and adjust to the changes in our lives, we will live with more happiness, less stress, and our lives may become one adventure after another.