Willingness

What someone is willing to do, he will do.  If he can't do anything about his situation that is one thing, but if he can, he has to be willing to make changes.  Being willing is voluntary and is a choice.  For example, a person may not be able to do anything about his heart condition on one hand, but on the other hand, there may be things that could be done like exercising and and eating nutritional meals.  However, even if diet and exercise would help the person's condition, he may not choose to do those things.  If one is willing, and a necessary change is made without resistance, all goes well.   However, if someone is not willing to accept his circumstances or the people, places and things involved, there many be some suffering.  Or, in in the previous example, the person's health may suffer.  The more a situation that needs to be accepted is resisted, the harder it becomes to accept and a vicious cycle begins.  You have heard the expression, "go with the flow."  When a person is wiling to accept his or her circumstances, there is usually little or no suffering.  Since willingness is a conscious choice, when adversity hits, the best thing one can do is what he feels is the right thing to do and he wants to do, and then hope that it is in line with what others are doing or want done.  When a someone is willing and accepting, he or she is comfortable with the way things are. He is willing to accept "life on life's terms," and go with the flow.  When this happens life becomes more comfortable and joyful.  We hear about God's will, but at the same time we are told we have free will.  There is that matter of voluntary choice.

Encouragement

Why do we encourage someone?   Well, because, it makes us feel good to be supportive and help another person's morale.  In turn, the person who is encouraged is stimulated to continue to do what they are doing, or what they have said they would like to do.  We all like to be recognized, given feedback, and feel our goals and actions are approved of.  To encourage someone, in the fullest sense of the word, is to inspire them, to give them hope and reassurance that what they are trying to accomplish is something of value, whether it be writing a book, or supporting a worthwhile cause.  Words of encouragement give a sense of confidence, usefulness, and purpose.  When someone is afraid, a word of encouragement can help them overcome obstacles.  Also, to be a better person, or even to have better habits, can result from encouragement.  For example, parents encourage their children to be honest law abiding citizens, good students, and to be kind to not only other people, but to themselves.  Encouraging is always a good thing as it is an expression of positive, good thoughts.  The mere act of encouragement can lead to invigoration and can be given for many reasons.  However, it may be especially welcomed if a project or circumstance is difficult. Sometimes a word of praise and encouragement will make or break an achievement.

Priorities

Priorities can be tangible or intangible.   The Latin word for tangible is "to touch."  Something tangible has physical substance and is real and concrete.  Whereas intangible means immaterial, elusive, and more spiritual in nature.  It's meaning can be grasped, but it cannot be embraced or perceived by our five senses.  The intangible are more abstract and relate to our thoughts, emotions, feelings, characteristics, and values.  The things that cannot be taken away, only given, or as a result of being.  If you are materialistic you have proof that something exists and can be possessed, but by their very nature, they can be lost or taken away.  Happiness is an example of something intangible.  If someone says they are happy, the feeling that they have can only be taken on faith to be true by someone else's sixth sense. A new car, however, can be seen, touched, and heard.  What you have as priorities are those things that come before anything else. Your priorities are the things you think are most important and what you think about, strive for, and act in alignment with. If you are interested in having "things" you will obtain them first.  On the other hand, if it means the most to you to be a good human being, you will become kind, generous, and humble to name a few intangible qualities.  Granted, it is important to have food, clothes, and shelter, and to be comfortable on earth, but if you want to leave something of significance to the world you will not be interested in possessing a lot of material and tangible things.

Charisma

Charismatic people have a way of attracting and influencing others because of their magnetism, personal appeal, and charm.  We feel drawn to them and they become popular.  Sometimes it is thought that having charisma is reserved for powerful personalities such as politicians, theologians, and movie stars, but, in reality, charismatic people are everywhere.  Sometimes we sense something different, confident, and exciting about a person, but not quite understand why we are attracted to them.  It is true, there is an element of glamour that is associated with charisma, qualities of being fascinating and alluring in combination with being attractive and charming.  But not necessarily so.  It is more the charismatic person's presence and the audience they command.  Usually it is movie stars who are associated with glamorous, exciting lives, almost unreal and magical in nature.  Their lives have a certain personal appeal.  Most of our heroes and leaders have magnetic, charismatic personalities, by the nature of their positions, who they are, and their forbearance.    Paul Zweig said, "By hero, we tend to mean a heightened man who, more than other men, possess qualities of courage, loyalty, resourcefulness, charisma, and above all selfishness."  But wherever and whoever they are, a charismatic person's influence goes far beyond what they do, far beyond their personality.  Their mere presence, simple or glamorous, natural and unassuming or flamboyant, has a transformational effect on whomever they come in contact with.  

Kindness is Special Quality

When you hear the words, "I was treated in a kindly manner," or "She was kind to me," what do you think of?  If you are like me, you envision a thoughtful and kindhearted person who is caring and considerate.  This person may also be helpful and sympathetic.  A kind person is unselfish, has a concern for others, and may be habitually kind naturally having a benevolent disposition.  Or, a kindness can be through specific words said or a kind behavior.  I read somewhere recently that if you are about to say something about another person ask yourself:  Is it true?  Is it inspiring? Is it necessary?  Is it kind?"  Mother Teresa and Helen Keller both say the same thing when they write about (us) not being able to do great things, only small things with great love.  And that would mean with great kindness because, always, when a person or animal is loved the one(s) who love them treat them in a kindly manner.  Then remember Flower in Bambi (or is it Thumper?) who said, "If you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all."  Sometimes it is hard to react with kindness and tolerance to a potential conflict, but saying "you may be right," may often be the kindest and smartest thing to do.  When I think of kindness, I think of kind eyes, that if recognized, can cause great comfort.  If you have kind people in your life, or even kind animals, be grateful for them and "appreciate" them.

Appreciation is Just That

The word appreciation can be used basically in two ways:  first, the appreciation and admiration of something for its value and what it gives to life, such as art work.  Secondly, appreciation in the sense that something is understood or comprehended e.g., she appreciated the time it took to paint the painting.  Observing color and shape and then being able to paint them on a flat surface with a three dimensional effect.  Appreciation can be natural, sensitive, and insightful, or a learned appreciation sometimes including judgments.  In college I took a class entitled, "Art Appreciation." And it was just that, an appreciation of what we saw, what stirred our souls, and what we liked and acknowledged as "art."  Appreciation can be for people, places, and things, and often compliments are given when someone is appreciative, and then, in turn, the compliment is appreciated.  There can be appreciation and comprehension at the same time.  A piece of jewelry, which is not only admired, but the process of making it and the workmanship involved is understood.   On the other hand, there can be appreciation and admiration without understanding, such as loving Vincent Van Gogh's "Starry Night," but not knowing what the painting is about or what it means ("Starry Night," has an involved story).  The epitome of appreciation is a sense of delight and wonderment shared by others.  Relative to gratitude, when a person is grateful to someone and gives thanks, they appreciate what has been done or said.  In other words, they are in appreciation.

Growth

In my blog of January 29th (Human Beings and Flowers), I wrote that, for me, it is painful to prune my flowers because it is almost as if I am being pruned as well.  I noted, as an analogy, that is true.  It can be said that when we go through periods of renewal and dormancy, our trials and tribulations prune us for further growth.  Our trials and tribulations are like good soil, water, and fertilizer is to plants.  People grow and evolve, evolution being the process by which something gradually changes to different, and more mature, stages in our lives. Like the bud on a rose bush opening, in our personal growth, mentally and emotionally we are expanding. Unlike the natural evolution of flowers, with us it usually takes hard work and often surrender to the powers that be, but with time we do grow.  I have been watching the rose bush that I pruned.  I didn't think it would make it this time and bloom again because it looked so forlorn, just  bare branches looking  like dead ends. But low and behold, today, I noticed small red leaves growing out from those bare branches, among the thorns, despite the thorns.  This is what happens in our lives.  Just when we feel like we will be in the same sad place forever and never "see the light," there is a spurt of growth,  or even an avalanche.  An unknown author said, "May my teaching drop like rain, my speech condense like dew; like gentle rain on the grass, like showers on new growth."  We need to trust the cycles of dormancy will renew us and lead us to new and better circumstances.  We need to be patient, and it wouldn't hurt to remember we are works in progress.

Patience is a Virtue

This is the era of instant gratification, and of a fast paced society.  It seems like everyone is either submitting to advertising and buying, or doing things as if they wanted it done yesterday.  Where has the slow paced, "smell the roses," philosophy gone?  The patience I am writing about tonight is the patience regarding the natural quality of wanting a quick fix, or immediate solution, to a difficult situation including the mending of a relationship.   We seem to have forgotten that solutions to what have taken time to develop, take time to resolve themselves.  If you are a patient person you understand this.   Sometimes waiting for a solution seems like time wasted, however, when it occurs, the months of working through the circumstances with faith and hard work ultimately has made the change possible.  Often lessons in life are learned slowly, requiring patience to see them through.  Patience is a willingness and an ability to suppress restlessness, irritation and annoyance with people, places and things, usually without complaining.  If one is patient they have qualities of calmness and persistence in trying circumstances. To endure a hardship, handle suffering, and to see our way through to acceptance takes patience, courage and determination.  In the 1800's Henry Wadsworth Longfellow wrote a poem entitled, "A Psalm of Life."  This is the last stanza of that poem:  "Let us then be up and doing, with a heart for any fate; still achieving, still pursuing, learning to labor and to wait."  There is a time to act and a time not to act.  While we are resting, being patient, and not acting, why not sit back and enjoy the journey and take one day at a time.

Keeping Expectations in Perspective

It is human nature to have expectations.  To expect something is to anticipate, or to look forward to, something that or may not be coming, the feeling that something is about to occur. Perhaps even a mental picture of what the outcome of a situation might be.  An expectation is a belief about what might happen in the future.  The word expectation comes from the Latin word expectationem, meaning "an awaiting."   If one has great expectations, they think that something good will come their way and they have high expectations.  They think optimistically which can be a good thing. Think good thoughts until proven otherwise is a common way for people to believe.  Although high expectations are the most popular, there are those people who keep their expectations low because they don't want to risk disappointment.  A disappointment is a sad and discouraged feeling of loss that does everything from crush hopes to ruin a day.  It defeats the fulfillment of what one has been anticipating.  "Disappointment proves that expectations were mistaken." says Mason Cooley.  Usually the people who set their expectations low have learned from experience what happens from expectations being dashed and they don't want to risk disappointment.  They feel it is safer to think the worst, and if good things happen, all the better.  It has been said that high expectations are resentments in the making.  Not all expectations are positive, sometimes they have connotations of being negative, or of impending doom, in this case one hopes what they are expecting does not come about.  People can also have high expectations of others and be disappointed in one another.  Someone may say, "I expected more from you," and then, of course, we can disappoint ourselves as well.

Let's Celebrate

When we say the word "celebrate," it is denotes something joyful and festive.  A get together to observe, or commemorate, some happy event. A time when people assemble for social interaction or entertainment and an occasion that may include presents, singing, dancing, laughing.  Or, a time when we can celebrate our imagination in the releasing of creative and fanciful ideas of ours and others.  When one thinks of a celebration it is usually thought to be a delightful occasion we share with others, a family event of celebration and thanksgiving.... celebrating birthdays, marriages, anniversaries, and, of course, births. We can also take advantage of our culture and celebrate holidays, or the celebration can be an individual one like finishing a project or earning a raise.  Celebrating is a wonderful thing as it adds a note of gaiety and festivity to our lives.  To celebrate something, besides incurring a joyful feeling, it also helps us relax and enjoy the good things in life.  Celebration can be an effective way to alleviate the heaviness of the periodic sense of heartfelt sadness that can cause grieving and suffering.  Being healing and refreshing, it culminates in an appreciation of life.  An interesting characteristic of celebration is that, as we celebrate our lives with gladness, we find that celebration tends toward more celebration, and joy leads to more joy.

Listening is an Art

When you truly listen to something you just don't hear it with your ears, but you pay attention to the sounds, which can be anything from a cricket to a good piece of music.  Listening is the act of hearing attentively.  The real test of our listening is when we are with another person,  To be a good listener means listening with an intention to comprehend and appreciate what the other person is saying.  One pointed focus, or mindfulness (see my previous blog on mindfulness).  To be effective, a listener should also be empathetic and perceptive.  Perception is to be aware of, know, or identify with, by the means of the senses.   When one listens closely with concentration and/or perception, to what someone is trying to say, ideas becomes clear, and the listener is able to comprehend and understand what the person is trying to get across.  Also, important is the speaker's body language and what being imparted through their eyes, for example, do they make eye contact.  The listener's body language and eye contact are important as well. Our faces often show our feelings for the person and what is being said.  Compassion comes from the heart, and when we listen with our hearts this is the highest form of listening.  In matters of the heart, most of the time, words do not have to be spoken as there is an internal connection.  When I worked in human resources, employees, more than wanting to sue for, let's say wrongful termination or sexual harassment, wanted to be heard, they wanted to tell their side of the story and commiserate.  Most people want someone to know what is going on with them especially if they are suffering, have overwhelming challenges, or are maybe just confused.   Millions of dollars are spent on psychologists and psychiatrists who may interject comments or advice, but most of the time just listen while their patients try and figure out their own problems.  Something you probably have heard before: "God gave us two ears and one mouth!"

The Path of Least Resistance

In life it is so much easier, don't you think, to go with the flow?  It seems like the more we don't accept what is going on with us, especially relative to a challenge, the more we suffer.  When we learn to accept everything that comes into our lives and don't resist it, pain and suffering have a way of disapating.  To resist is to keep something at bay, to prevent the occurrence of.  An unwillingness to accept what is going on.  It is putting up a wall, mentally, physically, emotionally, philosophically or otherwise.  We try and defy, withstand, protest, or elude reality.  As Eckhart Tolle, from the fame of, "The Power of Now," and "A Good Earth," says:  "Always say 'yes' to the present moment.  What could be more futile, more insane, than to create inner resistance to what already is.  Say 'yes' to life and see how life suddenly starts working for you rather than against you."  The analogy that gets repeated the most often regarding resistance vs non-resistance is that of the river that flows around rocks, not resisting them or anything else that is in it's path. In acceptance there is peace, in resistance, there is pain. The choice is always ours.  It is simple, but not easy. When we resist something, just like when we worry, we think we are doing something, but what are we really doing is trying to be in control of the situation, and how many people, places and things can we really control?  Until we learn to accept, we cling to things being the way they have been, or we wish they were, or want them to be, or hope they will be.  When we let go and lighten up, life seems to go much better as Mr. Tolle says we will find out.

We are all Special

Has anyone ever called you special?  Have you ever felt someone was special.?  If we are fortunate our lives are full of special people usually beginning with our family and our friends, "our chosen family." Special is having a distinct or particular kind of characteristic, like a special smile, or someone accomplishing something that is out of the ordinary and stands out.  But it also is means a person who is exceptional,  remarkable, and  can sometimes be called extraordinary.  As a person, being special isn't so much about having certain characteristics, as it is about the person's all around allure and demeanor, and just being who they are.    Special men and women of valor and courage our are men and women in the military.  Regardless of how one feels about war, our men and women are heroes. They are the "bravest of the brave."  Also policemen and fireman can be classified as heroes, but then, actually, we are all heroes, special and unique in our own right, and it is important to hold ourselves in high regard.  We may not be extraordinary, or even unusually remarkable, but we all have a reason for being here.  Not only do we have our own special talents, we have  inherent attributes that determine who we are, including our moral and ethical actions and reactions.  No one else is exactly like we are and has our talents, nor does anyone know all about everything.  The world is full of "specialists."

Create, Creativity, and Creation

Creation is something brought into existence from our imagination.  It often describes something involving artistic talent like sculpting, painting and writing, but can be that of a practical invention such as the telephone or electricity.  A performance, or even a way of doing something (she had a sense of style in her dress), can also be a creative and imaginative process.  Creative work is the fullest human expression of being alive, it causes something unique to come into being that is not made by ordinary processes.  Nature is a good example of creation just happening naturally, for example, birds create nests and tides create ocean waves.  Following are two examples of creativity, the first as a painting and the second, as the written word.  Painted during the High Renaissance, central to the Sistine Chapel ceiling in the Vatican City in Rome, are nine scenes from the book of Genesis.  The "Creation of Adam" by Michelangelo is the most famous of the frescoes.  In a book by the name of "Clara and Mr. Tiffany," Mr Tiffany was showing Clara his new mosaics and stained glass.  When he showed her a baptismal font with the dome, or the lid, of the basin in opaque leaded glass, she was struck by a unique idea.  If it was reduced in size and made of translucent glass instead, once the the pieces in the dome could be secured, that it could be the method and shape of a lampshade, a wraparound window.  Mr. Tiffany exclaimed in wonder "Lampshades in leaded glass....it's brilliant.  An entirely new product, we'll be first on the market."  And the Tiffany lamps were born.  There is no end to creative talent.  Everything in this world was created at one time; material things were only ideas first.  However, the most important creation was that of human beings.  "I made you to accomplish what no one else can accomplish " was adapted from the "Power of Vision" by Myles Munroe based on Psalm 139:13-14.

Do you have a Mentor or a Role Model?

At one time or another, and most likely now, you have had a mentor, a wise and trusted counselor, or an influential  supporter, someone that is helping educate you in the ways of life.  Or perhaps you have someone more like a role model, one who you find embodies all that you would like to be, a shinning example, someone worth imitating, the epitome of virtuousness.  Qualities, either of mentor or a role model, include:  a person who is a good listener and is nurturing and encouraging. One who is compassionate if misfortune befalls you and really wants to help in times of need.   The person who understands you, perhaps because they have gone through a similar situation. A kind person who is considerate and caring, someone you regard with pleasure and want to be with. A mentor or role model would be one you would respect and admire.  Someone you hold in esteem and honor.   The respect that Shakespeare was talking about when he said:  "Thou art a fellow of good respect.  Thy life has had some smatch of honor." Another basic quality of mentors and role models is a good attitude that prevails in one's spirits.  A person who has mental and emotional  joy and is optimistic.  Mentors and role models almost always walk their talk, and many are charismatic, having charm, magnetism, and presence.  If you are a mentor reading this, or a role model, thank you for your value to society.

A Brief Look at the History of Valentine's Day

There were three martyred men with the last name of Valentine in Rome around the time of AD 469.  One was known as Saint Valentine and became the Roman patron Saint of engaged couples, beekkeepers, happy marriages, love, lovers, young couples, and travelers.  Historians are not certain which Valentine is commemorated on February 14th.  There was a Roman feast in AD 496 which was the first proclaimed Feast of Saint Valentine, and eventually it began to be associated with love and lovers.   The name Valentine is derived from the word "valens" and means "worthy."   Some say the first recorded association of Valentine's Day with love and romance is in "Parlemement of Foules" by Geoffrey Chaucer who wrote: "For this was on Saint Valentine's Day, when every bird cometh here to choose his mate."  There are three other poets who wrote poems in medieval times about birds mating relative to Saint Valentine's Day. In the English Renaissance, Ophelia, in Hamlet, is quoted as saying: "To-morrow is Saint Valentine's day, all in the morning betime, and I a maid at your window to be your valentine...." A more modern verse of a familiar Valentine's Day poem can be found in a collection of English nursery rhymes in 1784: "The rose is red, the violet's blue, the honey's sweet, and so are you.  Thou art my love and I am thine;  I drew thee to my Valentine.  The lot was cast and then I drew, And Fortune said it shou'd be you."  In the twenty-first century a philosopher and writer by the name of Alan Watts, probably says it best:  "Falling in love with yourself is the ultimate valentine."   In the second half of the 20th century, handwritten notes and embossed paper and lace handmade valentines gave way to mass produced greeting cards and the practice of exchanging cards was extended in the U.S. to gifts typically including roses and chocolates in red satin, heart-shaped boxes.  In the 1980's the diamond industry began to promote Valentine's Day as an occasion for giving jewelry.  The rise of the Internet at the turn of the millennium created new traditions.  Millions of people now use digital means of creating and sending valentine's greeting messages such as e-cards, coupons or printable greeting cards.

"When you're smilin,'', the whole world smiles with you."

This quote made famous by Louis Armstrong is so true.......have you ever noticed how nice it is when someone smiles at you, or how good you feel when you smile?  There are so many reasons to smile;  1)  Smiling can make you happy even when you are not.  There is something to be said about the mind-body connection in that smiling sends a message to your brain that you are happy. And, when you are happy, your body sends out feel-good endorphins.  So smile whether you feel like it or not;  2)  Smiling can make others happy.  Something as simple as seeing a friend smile can activate the muscles in your face to make that same expression, without you even being aware that you are doing it. Smiling is contagious;  3)  Smiling makes you more attractive.We smile in photos because we want to look our best.  Smiling people in photos are thought to be likable and confident;  4)  Smiling helps with our stress level.  The next time you are stressed about people, places, or things, take a few deep breaths and smile.  It has been proven that a smile signals to your brain that you are feeling happy and your body will usually slow its breathing and heart rate;  5)  Smiling can help when you are looking for work, or want to please someone.  Your appearance is more than just wearing nice clothes and saying the right things, a nice smile goes a long way;  6)  Smiling can lead to laughter. And laughing is so good for us. Studies have shown laughter burns calories, helps our blood flow, lowers blood sugar level, reduces stress, improves sleeps, and over all feels good.  So smile and laugh often; and, 7) Smiling just feels good, and sets the stage for happiness, when you smile you can't help but put on a happy face literally.  So think about what you do and where you go, and take a smile with you.  If you can't think of anything to smile about, think about something that makes you laugh, like something a friend said, the antics of your children or pets, watch a funny movie, or read the comics.

On Simplicity

Like humble, the word simple means modest, unassuming and unpretentious.  Furthermore it means not complex or complicated.  There is a certain naturalness and easiness about a person who has has simple needs and a simple lifestyle.  Simple people usually pose no difficulties and are easy to get along with.  They are for the most part transparent and it isn't hard to know what they are thinking.  When I think of simplicity,  I think of nature.  A tree just grows and a flower just is.  They know no other way.  People with a simple demeanor usually live a very quiet life and are better at "being" than "doing."  They have few belongings and therefore do not have to make many decisions. For example, people who have a lot of material things such as clothes, have so many decisions, such as what to wear, that it can be confusing and overwhelming.  As a matter of fact, this afternoon, knowing my topic tonight was going to be on simplicity, I started cleaning out my closets.  I  have done this before and it gave me a sense of freedom to release material possessions I don't need to those who may be able to use them,  A very good example of a simplistic lifestyle was that of Ralph Waldo Emerson who had a cabin in Concord Massachusetts in the 1800's where he immersed himself in nature.  It was here that he wrote his essays and poems.  Emerson was a transcendentalist who believed  in a person's natural spirituality and intuition.  One of his famous quotes is, "What lies behind us, and what lies before us, are a tiny matter compared to what lies within us."   Emerson would be surprised at the materialism of today's world.  Everywhere we look we are being prompted to buy, and we do.  We could learn a lesson from the simple way Ralph Waldo Emerson lived his life.  His profound thoughts and philosophies are still known and studied today, mainly by those who cherish the simple type of life that Emerson led.

On Humility

Today my focus is on humility, and tomorrow, I will be writing about simplicity, which is a characteristic of humility.  We hear the words humble and humility often, but sometimes I think it is confusing because there are several, almost conflicting, meanings.  Humility comes from the Latin word "humilis" which literally mans low.  In other words if one feels humility they felt meek, inferior or submissive.  However, there a phrase in the Bible that says, "the meek shall inherit the earth." Meek in this sense means a disposition to be patient and long suffering, and often means a life of taking care of others.  This in itself is a good thing and doesn't imply the person is inferior or submissive.  This is also the case of the other uses of humble and humility.  In today's world, being humble, for example, can mean having a modest, unassuming opinion or estimate of one's own importance.  Like the athlete who earns the title of most valuable player and says, "thank you, but I couldn't have done it without my teammates." Another description of the word is that a humble person is a simple, easy going person who is easy to get a long with and doesn't create conflict.  Humility can be a feature of a person's personal nature as in a feeling:  "he was filled with humility at the sight of seeing the wondrous colors of the rainbow." Or, humble, used as an adjective, "in my humble opinion," meaning in a respectful or courteous manner.  The opposite of humble is arrogant or vain.

Mindfulness

We hear a lot about being mindful, what does it mean?  It means paying attention to what you are doing, staying focused.  It means being wakeful in the sense that you are fully conscious of what you are doing, being aware, and alert.  Consciousness also means showing knowledge, understanding, and being able to perceive what is going on.  It is an awareness of surroundings and sensations.  The most basic mindfulness is when you focus on what you are doing.  For example, telling yourself, "I am putting my keys here," or "yes, I locked the door."  Almost as if you are shining a light on what you are trying to remember.  Fixing and putting your attention on a central point and concentrating.  Often we have to remind ourselves to be mindful as most of the time we live on autopilot.  Our minds seem to have a will of their own.  Thoughts come and go and it seems as though we don't have much to say in what thoughts turn up in our head.   One of the best ways to explain mindfulness in a mundane way is to talk about it relative to eating. Mindfulness experts tell us to eat slowly and deliberately, paying full attention to each  piece of food you select to eat, how it looks, how it smells, the texture and the taste as you chew it carefully and slowly.  Mindfulness in this case means being absorbed by the experience.  Another purpose and explanation of mindfulness is to bring us back into the present moment and to quiet our minds.  If our minds wander off bring out attention back to the present moment.  But this is another topic for another day,

Being of Service

The best way to find happiness and joy is to make someone else happy  Have you ever noticed that joy has a way of coming back to you when you do something for others?  In times of sadness, grief and trials if you help another person, most people just naturally feel good about themselves. One has a tendency to feel more at peace, comfortable and lighter.  It is such a wonderful thing to see someone light up in delight when you have done something for them.  I had an occasion to experience love and service in action.  My girl friend had just taken her dog to the vet for a procedure to see if he had a serious illness.  After she took him she went to Trader Joe's.  She called me and asked me if I wanted anything and I mentioned one thing that would be nice to have. She showed up with two bags full of food, mostly gourmet, and mostly goodies.  Her eyes were sparkling as she brought out one item after another out of the bags and put them away in my kitchen.  I said, "this is just like Christmas in July."  I told her it must be nice to be able to do things for people like she did for me especially when the person (me) was so appreciative.  Her dog was at the vet, and I was off my feet recovering from foot surgery, but for the moment we were just two people who cared about each other having fun.  From feelings, to thoughts, to behaviors, one's entire life shifts away from problems when they  find they are purposely giving joy away.

Do you Stand by your Convictions or are you a People Pleaser?

In this millennium it is hard to have an unshakable and unwavering belief in principles.  A principle is a kind of rule, belief, or idea that guides one.  A principle per se is thought to be held by ethical people as a basic truth and the a principled person is thought to be ethical and decent.   I like to use the fruit of the spirit vs the seven deadly sins as a gauge between good and bad or right and wrong.  The fruit of the spirit can be found in the Bible in Galatians 5:22-23 NV.  It is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self control.  The seven deadly sins are wrath, greed, sloth, pride, lust envy and gluttony.  The fruit of the spirit is virtuous whereas the seven deadly sins have been used since early Christian times to educate and instruct followers concerning fallen humanity's tendency to sin.  In our culture today, especially in America, there is just about anything and everything one can get into just because they can. Values have gone by the wayside.  The person of conviction is one who has principles and is certain of things, the assurance of the way things should be without a need for proof.  However they are persuaded by the media and other people to give up their convictions if it suits the other person, and the advertisers, of course, are just trying to sell more and more "stuff."  People who want to please other people have a need to be like other people and have a tendency to give up their convictions. They begin to depend on who they are with and if these are unsavory people, or what the media and advertisers want to cash in on, the people pleasing people give up  their principles of good and bad and right and wrong.  They become like chameleons.  If we are going to hold our world together we are going to have to not be so vague about our beliefs, but stick to our convictions and hopefully they will be that of the fruit of the spirit.

This too Shall Pass

"Life is difficult" is the first line of Scott Peck's book "A Road Less Traveled."  And so we find that this is so.  One thing we all share in this life are trials and tribulations.  Some may be more pronounced than others, and  painful moments may occur more at one time than another, but we all have them.  This life is not a "rose garden."  Sometimes it is hard to hear the words, "this too shall pass."  But people, places and things do.  Knowing this we know whatever we are going through at the present time will not last forever.  However, this is also true of pleasurable moments. They too change. What is in one moment will not be in the next.  The words "this too shall pass" can apply to thoughts as well as to people, places and things. Change seems to happen more quickly when circumstances are involved, some thoughts on the other hand, being more elusive, can last for a long time. However, even thoughts dissipate with time, even the toughest and most obsessive of them.  Our lives are like sand in an hourglass. We live in an ever changing world when the only thing that stays the same is change itself.

Escape

I hesitate using this title for my blog, but I can't think of another way to describe exactly what I want to say.  I suppose the way I am using it is more of as a "retreat from." At any rate, I just got up from a nap with my kitty, Joey.  I am recovering from surgery and it was a long day. I just needed to have some time for renwal. In one of my previous blogs I wrote about silence. I mentioned that people in today's world seem to be uncomfortable in silence.  On the other hand, I think in this century we are so bombarded by technology, the media, work and really just each other, that we become overwhelmed by stimuli.  We may go on overdrive, but most often than not we just withdraw and try and find a means to get away.  When there is silence or too much stimulus (by the way these are opposites) often we find that we feel a need to escape from what is going on or retreat.  There are two different means to get away from something:  one is to do something silently, another is to seek more stimuli.  Examples of being more stimulated are T.V., dancing, and playing sports and exercising.  However, if getting away from being stimulated is the desired goal, silent escapes would be reading, praying, meditation, resting and taking a hot bath.  Escape can be healthy or unhealthy, and ultimately we do what we are comfortable with and what makes us feel good. However, pulling our covers over our heads and not being able to face the day is a lot different than napping to get more energy to continue to do something we love.

Teamwork

As I watched the Superbowl today it occurred to me how important and awesome teamwork is.  It takes a lot more to being a team than cooperation and common goals.  One of the successes of any team's endeavor is individual performance.  Each and every team member is counted on to perform his or her designated role.   In order to reach a common goal teams must have the right people in the right places, all focused on achieving a common objective. Once a player makes the team it is their responsibility to deomonstrate their value and pursue excellence on a daily basis. Also a successful team adheres to shared values that guide and help them stay on course. The key is having positive values that  build a sense of unity and establish a bond among team members.  Accountability, integrity, respect and commitment are notable values shared by every member of  a successful team.  In addition to values, wining teams share another common bond - the team itself.  They place the team's needs and interests first.  Successful teamwork starts at the top with qualified leaders who provide strategic vision and establish team goals and priories.  Team leaders don't micromanage, rather they empower and inspire the players to accomplish the team's objectives. Communication among the team members and the leaders is very important.  Timely information in a consistent manner boosts confidence and efficiency.  Every member of the team requires clear and effective communication to accomplish their job. Teamwork also requires training, practice hard work and trust.  The most successful teams are those whose members have good attitudes and foster creative and optimistic outlooks.  And, most of all have the capability of visualization - seeing themselves and their team on top.

The Importance of Enthusiasm

Henry Chester wrote:  "Enthusiasm is the greatest asset in the world.  It beats money and power and influence. It is no more or less than faith in action."  In order to bring about ideas, projects and change, there must be more than money, power or influence. Enthusiasm is that extra added element that will make or break ideas.  An enthusiastic person has an eagerness, a fervor and they love what they do whatever it is.  They get other people excited because they are excited. They pursue projects and ideas with a lively interest, intensity and exuberance, and are able to persuade people.  Charismatic in nature, the enthusiastic person is followed because of their passion and devotion to their beliefs.  You may be wondering if this is really true and maybe it isn't in all cases.  Perhaps Mr. Chester was somewhat of an idealist.  But it would be nice to think that someone who believed in what they were doing and saying, and had passion, love and devotion for what they believed would be more persuasive than someone with only money, power and influence and no enthusiasm.  However, I suppose best of all, in a perfect world, there would be enthusiastic men and women who also had money, power and influence and used those things for good..

Do you worry?

Fortunately I didn't worry about my surgery this morning.  Normally I would have, but had an epiphany (see my blog on 2/1/12).  I asked myself what worry was anyway and what does it mean? Not being able to answer those questions, I just took the word, and the obsessing it implies, right out of my mind and assured myself that everything would go well.  When we "worry" we think we re doing something, but are we?  Although to worry is a verb, it is action word of becoming anxious about a person, place or thing.  My father used to say, "worry is like a rocking chair, it doesn't get you anywhere."  And actually it is harder to worry than not too.  To be concerned on the other hand can be healthy.  For example, if you hear a strange noise in your car you may become concerned and take it to a mechanic.  I may have been "worry free" about the surgery in general this morning, but this evening when I realized I hadn't iced my foot, almost immediately my thoughts started racing:  will my foot swell? will it take longer to heal,? why was I so stupid? what will happen? and so forth. Finally, mid-stream in my thoughts, I began to practice what I preach (see my blog on 1/20/12)  I realized the surgery was in the past and as far as the future was concerned I had no idea what would happen so I might as well stay in the present moment and have faith that all would be well.

Silence

In today's world there is so much noise and so much activity.  Most people don't "stop to smell the roses" or listen to the birds chirp or the grass grow.  Do you remember camping when you fell asleep to the crackling of a fire and the rustling of forest animals?  Not only is it not quiet in our environment, sitting in silence, or just being quiet, is a lost art.  So many times our thoughts are like roaring river rapids rather than a calm lake.  When everything around us is quiet, or we try to sit in silence, our thinking seems to get in the way, and most of the time because it is unpleasant or negative, we turn on music or the TV, or simply do something else.  How many times are we really still and just listen?  Stillness can be so tranquil, but it takes practice to soothe our minds and reach a place of quiescence, or being at peace with ourselves and the rest of the world.  Why is it that so many people feel uncomfortable with the silence?  I have written about about living in the here and now and I believe this is an example of not doing that.  Because human beings think one thought after another and have trouble calming their minds, being quiet, or sitting in silence, requires patience and practice.  If one is sitting in silence praying or meditating, or just simply resting in the present moment, there are no problems.  It is only our thoughts that take us there and those are of past and future and invested in self, and anything invested in one's self is problematic because it involves the ego.

Five Ways Answers to Problems are Found

The following are five ways to arrive at a solution or an answer to a problem.  The first two are through reason.  People often think intensely about a situation using reason to try and solve a problem.  This can sometimes be what is called brainstorming when at random solutions are thought of or written down no matter how outrageous they are in order to come up with an answer. The other type is also through reason, but the thoughts about the situation become obsessive.   In both cases, if the person is lucky, understanding of the problem becomes clear, but not without a lot of mental effort.  Another way solutions come is through insight, a grasping of the inner nature of things intuitively or by our sixth sense.  This usually happens quickly and is sometimes a hunch or something reacted to instinctively.  Then there are epiphanies and enlightenments.  These are more esoteric in nature.  Rather than solutions or conclusions derived from effort, they appear out of the blue. An epiphany is a sudden intuitive perception or insight into the reality or essential meaning of something usually initiated by some simple or common place experience or occasion.  Similar to having an epiphany is enlightenment.  Like an epiphany, an enlightenment occurs when someone thinks about a problem and then suddenly experiences a moment of clarity.  In both cases inspiration comes out of the blue.  The basic difference between an epiphany and being enlightened is that enlightenment is something that is brought "into the light" out of what was previously mysterious, and usually has a spiritual connotation.