Where I go from here..

In January of 2012, I established this blog in order not to only write about how I feel about life, but more importantly, on the issues of moral and spiritual values. At that time it was one of my hopes that it would help the readers consider these things in their daily lives. In February, I contracted with Balboa Press, a division of Hay House, to self publish a 365 day book. As I progressed, I decided to base my entries more on my experiences and things I have learned, and continue to learn, on my journey. This brought more originality to my ideas. I began to see my book as a guidebook for living including "thoughts for thought," my philosophies,  and tips for daily living, as well as on moral and spiritual values. I believe that if we had the same moral guidelines and philosophies throughout the world, it would be a better place and we would have a good chance at peace. I hope to achieve helping others learn how they can leave the world a better place than they found it and live fulfilled and joyful lives along the way. As the noted psychiatrist, Scott Peck, states in his acclaimed book, The Road Less Traveled, "Life is difficult..." My theme is that life is a continual journey and we should not settle into complacency and self absorption, but rather have goals of reaching spiritual heights, being true to ourselves, and helping others, therefore, finding peaceful ways of living with unresolved issues. I have completed the course I took on blogging authentically and found that blogging is not really my medium, nor is it Facebook's. My intent has always been to write a 365 guidebook for living and that is what I am exclusively doing now. This is my last blog. I plan to  have The Book of Lane to an editor from StoryCircle.com and Balboa Press in 2014. I write from my own perspective, wisdom, and experiences.

The Book of Lane

For those of you who aren't on Facebook and didn't get the news, I should explain that my blogs stopped on September 8th due to a online class I began on September 17th.  The class is through a women's group I  joined called StoryCircle and the class is entitled "How to Use Your Authenticity to Find Your Audience."  I am learning so much and enjoying it.  I am due back to be writing blogs on this site the 2nd of November.  If you are on Facebook with me, you got my notification.  If you are interested in what I have been doing in my class, please go into thebookoflane.wordpress.com.  I have been using this site to organize my thoughts for the 365 eclectic day book I am writing.  The first three blogs explain my intent, and the next few are some entries for what I now call a blog-a-book.  These last blog entries will be used on this blog on blogspot.

You Will Not Be Unhappy If You Are Grateful

A study was done about what causes people to feel unhappy, and in turn what makes them happy. It was found that people can be unhappy and loving at the same time, and also unhappy and serving others at the same time. However, the test showed that people cannot be unhappy and grateful at the same time. To be grateful means we are fulfilled, thankful, and appreciative. When we are focused on what we are grateful for the results are feelings of joy, happiness, and pleasure. We can be grateful for many things from the people who listen to us and love us to the material possessions that mean a lot to us. We won't have unhappy, distressed, and unpleasant feelings which are disagreeable to our senses and thoughts. When we are grateful, we are not depressed and discontent, instead our countenance becomes one of cheerfulness, and we have a sense of being glad to be alive. We are satisfied and fulfilled, and our state of being is marked by peace and contentment. Happiness is one of the by-products of being grateful. If we have joy and are doing the right things, and  living the right way (and we know  it), we will be happy. When we give thanks for what we have and what we have accomplished we can't possibly be unhappy. As an example, one time when I was sad and hurt, someone told me to make a gratitude list noting all the things I was grateful for and while I was doing it I realized these were the things that made me the happiest and I began to feel better. So when you are miserable and down and out, take a good look at what you have, especially your God given gifts and the the non-material, positive qualities no one can take away from you. Chances are you will soon feel the feelings gratefulness and happiness create.

Are You Fulfilled?

On line I participate in a Daily Challenge everyday put on by Me You Health.Yesterday our challenge was to explore our best self by finishing the sentence: "I always feel fulfilled when I....." We are told that "as we make it through our busy days we usually don't  have time to stop and think about what makes us our best and most fulfilled selves. By taking a moment to explore what fulfills us, it helps remind us what's special and purposeful about our lives." It appears that Me You Health was referencing something specific, but being fulfilled can also mean we are satisfied with our lives overall. On one level, we find fulfillment from within, on another level it is because we have obtained or accomplished something tangible. Fulfillment goes more hand and hand with contentment than it does with happiness, as contentment and fulfillment are more deeply felt from the heart and they cause a certain sense of peace, whereas happiness is marked by the experience of  joy or pleasure. Fulfillment and contentment from within are states of being where we are comfortable with our situation in life and in alignment with our tastes, likings, environment, and circumstances. There is also a feeling of being acceptable not only to others, but ourselves. We don''t ask for more than life presents to us and don't complain or blame. There was a cute story I read on line about a dairy company in the 1900's whose slogan was "Our milk is good milk because it comes from contended cows." When we are fulfilled, we are working towards, or have achieved, what we have sought for: a goal, a passion, a purpose, a dream, or a vision. Ultimately, we may develop a philosophy of living so that we can become fulfilled and thereby live richer, deeper, and more satisfying lives. It seems to me, just my spin on it, that  being fulfilled means we are "filled up." How would you complete the sentence, "I always feel fulfilled when I..... ?"

Procrastination is just one Habit

Procrastination is usually considered a bad habit as it is thinking about something we feel we should be doing while we are doing something else. It is delaying, or putting off, a project, doing something for someone else, or going somewhere we don't want to go. It may be unpleasant or difficult, or just something we don't feel like doing. People who procrastinate, or have other bad habits, are often plagued by guilt and berate themselves. A solution regarding habits like procrastination is to simply feel the emotions of not wanting to do what we really feel we should be doing and accepting how we truly feel on the inside. Acceptance helps free us to make calm, thoughtful, and rational decisions; rejection of our feelings and emotions makes us run back to our bad habits for comfort and a vicious cycle begins. We seem to look away from our flaws and mistakes, in other words, deny them. We need to see them and address them quickly and continuously accepting everything that happens without condemnation. Procrastination is just one habit we may become anxious over, not exercising may be another. I don't know about you, but I have a list. It seems strange, but our habits are comfortable because they are what we know and there is often fear of the unknown. Then too, giving up a bad habit may lead to liking ourselves better which we may be uncomfortable with as well, sabotaging is a real thing. So, the best way to improve a bad habit is to first accept it unconditionally, feeling the feelings, then visualize what we would like to do (eliminate or substitute), and lastly, make a conscious choice out of the positive rather than the negative.

Music - the International Language

Music is everywhere and can mean many things to many people. We can laugh to music, and we can cry. The best description of music I could find is: an artistic form of auditory communication incorporating instrumental and or vocal tones in a structured and continual manner. I read once that the harmony and melody of music is in the gaps between the notes, or it would just be continual noise. Musical sounds are usually pleasing and soothing, but when they are not, we can turn them off, unlike the thoughts in our minds. In fact music can be a healthy escape from our thoughts. Music is found everywhere and in every country. Different cultures have different instruments so our worldwide music is very diverse. We hear music in churches to dance clubs; there are even musical sounds to wind chimes and the breeze through the trees. There are various kinds of music from classical to rock to country to jazz, and they all have interesting roots. One singer, by the name of Barry White, who died a couple of years ago, began singing gospel songs and then he became a popular soul singer eventually forming an instrumental orchestra. Some of us can identify with lyrics like these sung by Mr. White: "Let the music play, I just wanna dance the night away, right here, right now where I'm gonna stay all night long. Let the music play on, let the feeling I feel go on...misery is gone, keep the music strong, let it play on and on, let it play on and on." There are always new artists and trends. Frank Sinatra surely had no clue someone like Lady Gaga would show up. From kids to elderly people, there is also an interest in making music. There are even high school and college marching bands. Music can bring back, as well as create, memories. It is healing and relaxing and can help with depression and anxiety, not to mention stress. However, it can also be invigorating, We dance, sing, and exercise to music, as well as go to concerts, musicals, and operas. We can tune in music on the radio, the TV, and the Interent, and now almost everyone has some portable type of music player with ear phones. Music in all its forms has come a long way and will always be a part of us.

How Do You Handle Disappointment?...

.....probably not very well, no one does. Disappointment occurs when something doesn't go the way we thought it was going to go, or be what we wanted it to be. In other words, what we have speculated as an outcome was not successful; our hope or expectation has been hindered. People and places can disappoint us, and so can things. For example, when something we buy doesn't work, we wonder, "Why wasn't this tested?" Disappointments can be specific or general. Typically, if someone says they will do something, or take us somewhere, and don't, it is natural to be disappointed. And, generally, perhaps we are disappointed when we thought highly of a person only to find out he wasn't what we thought him to be. More broadly speaking, our disappointments can be directed at the the foibles of the human race. Feelings are hurt for many reasons, but especially so when we are disappointed. Disappointments lead to emotions like anger and sadness, and we may even feel rejected because usually we take disappointments personally. Almost always  what leads to disappointments are expectations. Although it makes sense to expect good things and be excited, at the same time we have to be prepared they might not happen. There has to be a balance between expectations (especially high ones) and no expectations at all. The trouble arises when we focus on the one thing(s) that we are looking forward to. Disappointments can be real or imagined, so it is important to be realistic. Robert Kiyosaki, American investor, self help author, and motivational speaker, had this to say: "The size of your success is measured by the strength of your desire; the size of your dream; and, how you handle disappointment along the way." Everyone suffers from disappointments, maybe even two or three times a day, unless they have had a lot of mindfulness and  living in the moment training and experience.

Our Heads are Small Spaces

Yesterday morning someone was talking about "being in his head all of the time," and then he said, "and our heads are such small spaces." I really took this to heart, enough to write about it. Sometimes we are so wrapped up in our heads that we don't learn from others, or from anywhere else for that matter. If we just continue to stay in our thoughts, with our opinions and our beliefs, we will not grow. And isn't that what life is all about? It is important to share, listen, not isolate, and to get outside of our own minds. Today I heard that "it's fine to think, but...thinking, thinking, thinking?" In other words, what good does it do to think the same thoughts over and over again leading us to be obsessed about something.  Obsessing causes us to lose our focus and distracts us. It also stresses us and uses up our psychic energy. Excessive thinking can be likened to what people call a hamster on a wheel, or a monkey on our shoulder. Another thing I have heard is, "that darn committee in my head," meaning all we are working with are the thoughts we have. That can be so frustrating.  If we stay inside our heads all the time, we don't network with others, and networking and sharing are a two way street.  By interacting with others we learn, and they learn from us as well.

Remaining Childlike

There is something to be said about remaining childlike even when we grow up and assume adult responsibilities.  We have watched children who do one thing at a time and are fully absorbed in it with pure, unadulterated, joy.  Children totally live in the moment and just do things spontaneously.  Each moment is fresh and they are wide-eyed and learning from each experience. They are also willing to explore without thoughts of failure or worries about criticism. Children come into the world pure and simple, innocent, naïve, and trusting, with a lack of wordily experience and no set barriers. They don’t come into the world with fear and anxiety, and living in the present like they do, there is no concern of the past or the future.  Fear, anxiety, and distrust are learned behavior from their observations and experiences. They only learn to be fearful and anxious when they are treated mean or are hurt mentally or physically.  Psychologists use a common phrase, “take care of your inner child,” meaning in childhood the one who was hurt and could not fight back.  We can learn a lot from children.  There is an eternal and unchanging child inside each of us who knows nothing of judgment or hatred. There is nothing to judge, no one to hate because the eternal child doesn’t see appearances, he or she only knows how to look with love on everything and allow everyone to be as who, and as, they are because they know no different.   It is often hard to grow up, absolve ourselves of our ideals and fantasies, assume adult responsibilities, and face the real world. Sometimes too, if we are sheltered too much, we are unprepared to grow up and become adults, “he remained childlike in practical matters as long as he lived.”  There is a difference between being childlike and childish.  Childishness is lack of maturity, a dependence, and undisciplined and uneducated in the ways of life.  Adults who have learned to retain the positive qualities of children are nonjudgmental, accepting, loving, and for the most part are able to live in the here and now.  Wayne Dyer, in his book Wisdom of the Ages, quotes Heraclitus: “Man is most nearly himself when he achieves the seriousness of a child at play.”  It would behoove us to make it a goal to be more childlike as children have the attitude and perception that they will live forever, and are full of wonder at the least little blade of grass! 

Curious as a Cat

Being curious can be a good thing, or a negative thing in some ways.  Yes, we hear “curious as a cat,” but there is also a proverb that states, “Curiosity killed the cat.”  A proverb in this sense as a simple and contrite saying populary known and repeated and usually has some truth to it.  The saying reflects the dangers of unnecessary investigation or experimentation.  Therefore, there is such a thing as being overcurious.  For the most part being curious is a very good thing.  It is how we learn and accomplish things. We are being curious when we really want to know something, we are eager to find answers, we want to explore and learn.  A questioning, wondering, and inquisitive mind is healthy.  We live in the age of technology and social media and it is possible to communicate in ways once thought impossible.  And there still are all the ways we learn by reading novels and the newspaper, watching TV and going to movies, furthering our education, and working on self improvement.  The Internet has been a major step up for those who are curious.  We can find almost any answer to any question, and learn almost everything we desire.  New information can be interesting and fascinating.  The bad part is when we seek and/or use this information in a bad way.  We also can be curious in a bad way by prying and checking up on when it is none of our business.  Then we have people who are incurious which means they show a lack of intellectual natural inquisitiveness.  A couple quotes about curiosity:  “An understanding of the natural world and what’s in it is a source of not only a great curiosity but great fulfillment,” Sir David Frederick Attenborough (face and voice of the natural history programs on the BBC), and…..“Curiosity about life in all its aspects, I think, is still the secret of most great creative people.” Leo Burnett an advertising executive among the most creative men in the advertising business during his lifetime (October 21, 1891 – June 7, 1971). 

Are You Stressed Out?

Stress has many symptoms and sometimes we take the symptoms for granted thinking they are "just part" of life.  Any way you look at it, stress over certain incidents, or as a life style, affect our thinking, emotions, behaviors, abilities, and physical health.  Stress is about being under pressure and being tense, and it takes its toll physically and mentally causing worry and anxiety.  Right now there are oppressive conditions of physical, mental, social, and economic distress; so many of us are in a state of adversity of danger, affliction, or need.   Some people thrive under stress and for others it becomes a process, or point, at which a person breaks down. We hear that some stress is good for us, implying it keeps us away from danger as it is the body’s reaction to harmful situations whether real or in our imagination. There are stressors that are more major than other ones:  a death, a move, changes in health, and the break up of a relationship.  When people feel pressure that leads to stress, they often try to find ways to escape from it and most often these escapes are not healthy.  People, places, and things may stress us out, but we also can create our own stress by the way we think and feel. Sometimes the best thing do, if we can’t do anything about a person, place, or thing, is to accept the situation, let go of it, and move on. And, not be so hard on ourselves.  A good remedy is to look for things to be thankful for and express gratitude.  Stress can also be from pain in the past that becomes a trigger in the present. Food for thought is what Alan Cohen wrote this morning as his Daily Inspiration:, “If you fear pain in the future, it is only because you are projecting it from the past. But past pain was due only to beliefs in illusions.  Withdraw that belief and the future becomes new and wondrous.”  In other words, live in the moment as the past over, and you don‘t have to bring it’s pain into the future.  We always have a choice as to what to think. 

On Working

Working can mean many things. We all have specific talents that we use in our work.  A car mechanic works in one way and a ballet dancer in another.  Work gives us purpose and creates the world we live in.  Because of our working we are productive not only with our hands or our minds, but by our creativity and imagination.  Work is much more than collecting a paycheck.  Volunteers are considered workers, and what about the stay at home moms and dads.  We hear mothers say, “Don’t anyone tell me I don’t work.”  The art of work consists of what we think and feel about our work. There is a lot of volunteer work being done and other paid and unpaid work in service to others. We can strive to find a work we love and do it with all our hearts.  In order to work we have to study and learn, acquire skill or knowledge, and cause to come about.  Work is proceeding toward a goal or plan, and working through every problem or task to perform as we expect to perform. The word work is described as something someone does to accomplish a goal.  For example, Michael Phelps, in an interview last night, was talking about doing things he didn’t necessarily want to do in preparation for his races.  The goal of work no matter what we do is to turn it into a mission.  It is doing our present work so well that it will open doors to new opportunities, blessings in disguise. Work with enthusiasm no matter what you do because it will ultimately influence and have an effect upon others. If we are employees, our present work may be fulfilling and we are happy working, or we are miserable and may feel trapped.  Perhaps it is time to look for a new job, or perhaps our unhappiness shows and we are let go.  We can remember “when one door closes, another opens.” There is a healing power in work and being productive can help if we are lonely, frustrated, fearful, worried, discouraged, or defeated. We should try and find to do what we really love, pour our spirit into it, and put the stamp of our unique personality on whatever we do.  It is through our work that we can express ourselves and make contributions to human progress physically and/or mentally.  We have a sense of personal achievement and accomplishment; have meaning and purpose in our lives, and perhaps even leave something of significance behind.  I read somewhere, don’t work for a living, create for a life,” however that very creation is a form of work.

Team Spirit

Team spirit encompasses the very being and working together of the participants in the Olympics, or any sport made up of teams for that matter. And without it teams aren't very effective. Spirit is the vital principle or animating force within all living things, the immaterial part of a person, often called the soul. We hear the phrase, "he played with all his heart and soul." It is also the overall disposition or mood of a  person, his temperament and energy which enlivens him.This spiritedness, or the quality of being active, alive, and vigorous is what helps contestants perform the activities of their sport. But more than this, it is the state of a person's emotions, a fundamental or activating principle determining one's moral and ethical actions and reactions that happen when people work together toward an end goal. These actions account for the ability to work together, cheer each other on, and be good sports. Shawn Johnson, a four time Olympic gymnast winner is an example of someone who showed spirit at the Olympic Games this year. Earlier this year she had this to say, "In 2008 I didn't take it all in enough. I was so wrapped up in the competition that I missed what was going on around me. If I am given that opportunity again to go to the Olympics and be an athlete I want to take it all in because I feel this is my last shot at it and I want to feel the team spirit. I want to really live and breathe the USA." Shawn Johnson did not have that last shot in the way she envisioned. She was forced to retire in June of this year before the Olympics because of knee surgery due to a skiing accident. Her knee couldn't take the rigorous training. However, Shawn showed team spirit in practice, and after she retired she was determined to support and help others make the team. About the 2012 Olympic team, Shawn said, "I have had the honor to train and complete with them, and am excited to join the gymnastics family and fans in cheering on my girls and the USA. So, in a way, she had her last shot at the Olympics, however, as a spectator and fan rather than a contestant.

Team Spirit

Team spirit encompasses the very being and working together of the participants in the Olympics, or any sport made up of teams for that matter.  And without it teams aren’t very effective.  Sprit is the vital principle or animating force within all living things, the immaterial part of a person, often called the soul.  We hear the phrase, “he played with all his heart and soul.”  It is also the overall disposition or mood of a person, his temperament, and energy which enlivens him.  This spiritedness, or the quality of being active, alive, and vigorous, is what helps contestants perform the activities of their sport.   But more than this, it is the state of a person’s emotions, a fundamental or activating principle determining one’s character or the inherent complex of attributes that determines a person’s moral and ethical actions and reactions that come out when people work together toward and end goal.  These actions account for the ability to work together, cheer each other on, and be good sports.  Shawn Johnson, a four time Olympic gymnast winner, is an example of someone who showed spirit at the Olympic Games this year.  Earlier this year she had this to say, “In 2008 I didn’t take it all in enough.  I was so wrapped up in the competition that I missed what was going on around me.  If I am give that opportunity again to go to the Olympics and be an athlete I want to take it all in because I feel this is my last shot at it I want to feel the team spirit.  I want to really live and breathe the USA.”  Shawn Johnson did not have that last shot in the way she envisioned.  She was forced to retire in June of this year before the Olympics because of knee surgery due to a skiing accident.  Her knee couldn’t take the rigorous training.  However, Shawn showed team spirit I without being on the team.  Her spirit was an intention to help the others make the team.  She was determined to support them.  About the 2012 Olympic team Shawn said, “I have had the honor to train and compete with them, and am excited to join the gymnastics family and fans in cheering them on to victory.”   I will be there with every ounce of pride and energy to cheer on my girls and the USA.  So in a way she had her last shot at the Olympics, however, as a spectator and fan rather than a contestant.

Team Spirit

Team spirit encompasses the very being and working together of the participants in the Olympics, or any sport made up of teams for that matter.  And without it teams aren’t very effective.  Sprit is the vital principle or animating force within all living things, the immaterial part of a person, often called the soul.  We hear the phrase, “he played with all his heart and soul.”  It is also the overall disposition or mood of a person, his temperament, and energy which enlivens him.  This spiritedness, or the quality of being active, alive, and vigorous, is what helps contestants perform the activities of their sport.   But more than this, it is the state of a person’s emotions, a fundamental or activating principle determining one’s character or the inherent complex of attributes that determines a person’s moral and ethical actions and reactions that happen when people work together toward an end goal.  These actions account for the ability to work together, cheer each other on, and be good sports.  Shawn Johnson, a four time Olympic gymnast winner, is an example of someone who showed spirit at the 2012 Olympic Games.  Earlier this year she had this to say, “In 2008 I didn’t take it all in enough.  I was so wrapped up in the competition that I missed what was going on around me.  If I am give that opportunity again to go to the Olympics and be an athlete I want to take it all in because I feel this is my last shot at it I want to feel the team spirit.  I want to really live and breathe the USA.”  Shawn Johnson did not have that last shot in the way she envisioned.  She was forced to retire in June before the Olympics because of knee surgery due to a skiing accident.  Her knee couldn’t take the rigorous training.  However, Shawn showed team spirit during the practicing, and when she retired, she was determined to support the others and help them make the team.  She was determined to support them.  About the 2012 Olympic team Shawn said, “I have had the honor to train and compete with them, and am excited to join the gymnastics family and fans in cheering them on to victory.”   I will be there with every ounce of pride and energy to cheer on my girls and the USA.  So in a way she had her last shot at the Olympics, however, as a spectator and fan rather than a contestant.

Working with Others

The Olympics take an enormous amount of people working together, from the country preparing for the Games and the volunteers, to the news coverage, and most importantly to the contestants themselves.  The Olympics is about individual efforts, team efforts, and an overall effort to win.   Either way there is a common goal or objective and members are counted on to perform their roles to the best of thier ability.  Once a player makes the team it is his responsibility to demonstrate his value and pursue excellence under pressure.  Also, it takes a lot more to being a team member than common goals and purpose. There is training, practice, hard work, clear and effective communication, and, most of all, trust in each other.  Working together, team participants create an environment where everyone can go beyond their limitations and talent to achieve their true potential and that of the team.  Organization, coordination, and cooperation allow each member to maximize their strengths and minimize weaknesses.  Unity and common bonds are formed with shared values of accountability, integrity, respect, and commitment.  It is also important to not only have a good attitude and be “good sports,” but cheer each other on with a joint action to be victorious in the Games.  Further, the highest Olympic vision is one that places the needs and interests of the each country first.       

Confidence and Concentration

These are two very important qualities that the contestants in the Olympics need to have.  First of all they have to believe in themselves and have confidence.  Confidence is a French word, spelled the same way and means, “firmly trusting, bold.” There needs to be a freedom from doubt, a certainty and self-assurance of their abilities. The other quality is the power of mental concentration, focusing all efforts and activities to bear upon one thing or one activity; an intense mental effort, immersion, and absorption of all faculties. If you have watched the faces of the contenders you will see a certain look, an intense look, a focused look. I particularly noticed it in the gymnasts during the floor exercises, balance beam, and the parallel bars. There is complete confidence, concentration, and attention to what is about to be done that continues during the execution of the sport.  Because they are confident and trusting of their abilities, there is less anxiety and fear.  Last night, Missy Franklin from the United States, swam two races back to back with only 10 minutes in between which was unheard of.  In the first race, the 200m freestyle, she qualified 8^th, but in the second race, the 100m backstroke, she won the gold medal. Afterwards in the interview, she was asked how she did it.  She said one coach said to keep the events separate, and the other coach told her to stay calm and relaxed. Over many years of serious training the Olympiads learn ways of combating feelings of anxiety and nervousness.  Besides relaxing and staying calm, they learn to take deep breaths.  Another useful technique is called visualization.  Visualization is seeing oneself making the jump, hitting the ball, crossing the finish line.  It is projecting the win by imagining and conceiving of it as well as envisioning something happen that is invisible, abstract and not present yet.  Not only is the Olympics interesting and exciting to watch, we can learn from the Olympiads to be confident, poised, calm, centered, and living in the moment.

Competition

While the Olympics are going on, I have been playing electronic scrabble.  I haven't experienced a competition like this since I played board games when I was younger, and although friendly, I find I really I want to win. It is true that the Olympics is a competition with contestants or contenders, but it is actually more of a rivalry.  A rivalry where someone wants to win at something and prove that he is the best; further, a rivalry when contestant wants the same reward and their talents are about equal.  In the Olympics there is either competition as a group action, or among individuals, and then there is a further overall goal to win the overall games by accumulating the most medals.  The Olympic Games are ancient, origins of which are embraced by myth and legend.  Records indicate they started around 776 BC in Olympia Greece and were as much of a festival as a religious event.  Competitions/rivalries may be friendly or unfriendly; probably the best word for Olympic rivalry is that it is “intense.”  But, certainly baseball, basketball, soccer, and football competitions are tough and intense as well.  “Competing in sports has taught me that if I am not willing to give 120 percent, someone else will,” said Ron Blomberg, famous baseball player for the New York Yankees.  There is competition in everything from chess to ice skating.  It is obvious that people love a good competition.  It was estimated one billion people would watch the Olympics on television.  Originally the Olympic athletes were required to be amateurs, but over the years many countries were loosely defining this, so the IOC decided to let each sport’s governing body decide who could and couldn’t compete. Today almost all of the competitions in the Olympics accept professional athletes.  In the Olympics, the Olympiad’s compete against themselves (to set a better record), as well as try to be the best in their sport, and contribute toward the overall winning of the games.  The following is a quote by Stephanie Rice, Australian Olympic swimmer, “And I guess the thing I sort of rely on in me is that I love racing and I love competing and so I know that you know when the time comes and the pressure’s on and I have to swim well, well I am sort of able to pull it out and sort of get the best of myself.”  She was a hopeful in the 400 mile individual medley.  However, according to the Herald Sun, she lost her Olympic title and her world record today finishing sixth in the 400m medley.  She has been battling a shoulder injury and it takes just one race.  There is competition in almost everything, just think of all the advertising and marketing that retailers do.  It seems that everyone, everywhere, is in competition with others for something, even in relationships.

Adventures

Adventures can happen every day, in fact, the person who lives an exciting, fulfilled life, probably has some everyday, or all day, everyday, may be an adventure.  “Be careful of going in search of adventure – it is ridiculously easy to find.” is what the American travel writer William Least Heat-Moon had to say.  Planned adventures are undertakings that often involve strange places with strange people, different sights and sounds, and surprising twists and turns.  Adventures are usually very thrilling and perhaps risky.  Before an adventure is embarked upon it is a good idea to be prepared. There is even a book on Amazon.com that has five stars called The Adventurer’s Handbook: From surviving an Anaconda attack to finding Your Way Out of a Desert by Mick  Conefrey. And we all have heard of books about adventures, such as The Adventures of Tom Sawyer by Mark Twain.  Adventures are when the chain of routine is broken and life is renewed through reading new books, traveling to new places, making new friends, taking up new hobbies, and adopting new viewpoints.  They lead to new experiences and open new doors.  All adventures are not something actively that we do. They may be adventures of the mind and the emotions as well. George Eliot, the writer, had this to say, “Adventure is not outside a man, it is within.” Unafraid of new ideas, new theories, and new philosophies, the adventurer has a curiosity to experience, test, and try new ways of thinking and living.  He is flexible in adjusting and adapting himself to the changing patterns of life and standing up for himself and what he believes in. A true adventurer considers life a constant quest for the noblest and the best. He keeps his head up and works through tough problems and is not afraid of difficulties. An adventuresome person recognizes that the only limit life has is the one he gives it and comes to realize that he is surrounded by infinite possibilities for growth and achievement. He keeps his heart young and stays vitally alive by realizing life itself is a wonderful adventure.  Alfred North Whitehead (British mathematician and philosopher) wrote, “Art flourishes where there is a sense of adventure,” and one could say this about dreams and purposes as well.

Powerlessness

Being powerless can be good and bad.  To accept certain things in life is necessary for happiness and maturity, like realizing we are getting old, or, if we have an addiction, to realize we can never have that drug or drink again and be okay with it.  Therefore, with a form of powerless there is a feeling of acceptance.  On the other hand, we may feel powerless over things that should empower us, like taking care of ourselves and not giving up.  This would be particularly true if we have a health challenge and can do something about it.  To empower means to realize our potential and abilities and render ourselves capable or able to do some task.  Powerlessness is not producing the intended effect, or not capable of doing or not wanting to do, a task, whereas having power is having force, potency, effecting a result, being compelling, and strong. Powerlessness can be a non action, a giving up, mentally and/or physically.  It can also be a feeling.  As a feeling, powerlessness usually means accepting the person, place, situation in question.  Powerless is associated with surrender, but although surrender is giving up control of something or someone, it implies resignation and the acknowledgment of defeat.  However, when rendering oneself powerless it is not about defeat.  With powerlessness comes frustration, the inability to be able to do something about a situation.  There may be situations that we have no control over which are important to us; family situations are often the cause of worry and dismay.  If we can’t do anything, or aren’t asked, we feel powerless and may be.  It is important to search for serenity when we feel powerless about being able to do what we would like to do, or help where we would like to help.  We need to know the difference when to exert power and when to let go.  We need to know when we can help and when we can’t. Two excellent techniques when feeling powerless are: number one, to say the Serenity Prayer written by theologian Reinhold Niebuhr, “God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference,” and number two, to take deep breathes.  Deep breathing is known to relax one under stress and cause a calming effect.  Regarding the “wisdom to know the difference” in the prayer, sometimes the best thing is to do nothing, and then again, it may be a time to get into action and empower ourselves as this helps not only with indecision, but with the frustration and restlessness of feeling powerless

Let's Talk About Fun

Playing and having fun are two of the most important things we can do, and probably two things we don’t have as our priorities, but maybe we do.  Those of us that have fun know that the pleasure of fun and play are as necessary as rest and renewal.  And, most successful people have learned the art of having fun and finding pleasure. To have fun is to have purely enjoyable experiences and activities.  There is amusement, merriment, playfulness, and even being frivolous or silly.  Anything that is not serious or taken serious-minded.  Sometimes we have to make our own fun and happiness out of a serious situation.  Fun leads to good thoughts, high spirits, and having a sense of humor.  Look for the comical and the laughable.  One of the stress busters is to find something  fun in every day, something to look forward to. To be a playful person and engaged in activities for no other reason than to be light-hearted.  Fun can be comfort, set aside time just for us to do fun things by ourselves, or in recreational activities with other people, capering, romping, and enjoying each other’s company and maybe even their wit and joke telling.  “If you watch a game, it’s fun. If you play it, it’s recreation  If you work at it, it’s golf,” Bob Hope. It is nice to be around people who are having fun, but it is also pleasurable to be with ourselves when we are experiencing it.  When we are active physically in fun and recreation, physical tiredness invites relaxation and sleep  Life isn’t meant to be so serious.  When we are serious, we are sober in manner and characteristics, completely lacking in playfulness, and often are in a grave state or condition. “Modern man must learn to break the tensions of daily living or the tension will break him,” is what essayist Wilferd A. Peterson had to say about fun and playfulness. Watch a child at play, they are so happy and live in the moment.  We learn to be serious and think negative thoughts, we aren’t born that way.  We should strive to become more childlike.  I am going to say to you, what Franklin D. Roosevelt had to say, “It is fun to be in the same decade with you.”

Caring

As a noun, care means to handle with care as when a package is fragile.  As a verb, it means concerned about someone or something, giving attention to and having an interest in. We can care about anything from our car, to a plant, to a person or animal. For example, if we care for our car we handle the required maintenance and upkeep. For people and animals, we have caretakers and caregivers. A caretaker is one who maintains buildings, grounds, or animals. Caretakers, take care of.  When we are responsible for, help, assist, and attend to the needs of a child or dependent adult, we are called a caregiver, we give care. Also there are the professional caregivers, e.g., "he is under the care of his doctor." Care taking and care giving mean the same thing in the sense of managing and working by being actively involved in maintaining someone or something in good "working order." As well as being responsible for the safety and protection of. As a caregiver it means to be compassionate and sympathetic, to have respect and regard for. It can be said that the staff members, the personal care assistants, the certified nursing assistants, and so on are the heroes for those living a nursing facility, or having care at home. The word careful means cautious in one's actions and being mindful. It also means approaching things accurately and thoroughly. The opposite of care taking, care giving, and careful is careless: not paying attention to, negligent, reckless, unmindful, and having no concern. Different than careless, and yet not fitting the description of care, is carefree, which simply means without anxiety or worry, lighthearted, joyous, elated, and cheerful.  Goals are to have a careful and carefree caretaker and a careful and carefree caregiver. Another form of caring is to have affection, fondness, or a liking for, and everything from wanting strongly, to having a special preference. Caring has become so widespread that it is common to hear, "handle with "TLC," which stands for, tender loving care. There are so many ways we can care, so many people, animals, and things to give our attention to and be interested in.

Purpose

Having a purpose gives us meaning in life. On March 29th I wrote "What Makes Life Meaningful?" based on the book that Viktor Frankl wrote, entitled Man's Search for Meaning. His premise was that man's greatest need was to  have meaning in his life. Basically meaning and having a purpose mean the same thing. Meaning, however, leans more toward our intangible qualities such as working toward personal growth, being a good person, and helping others. In writing about purpose, I am writing about something, or things, that are productive or substantial that we can leave behind, often for the good of mankind. It may be a painting good enough to be hung in the Museum of Modern Art, or our nonprofit organizations that have as their purpose to find a cure for cancer or other debilitating diseases. But purposes don't have to be as lofty as these, it  may be a goal of a human resources director to help employees with insurance benefit questions. Usually when you think of someone's purpose in life, you think of good things. If people do not have any purpose(s), they tend to drift through life wondering what the point of living is. They may even become hopeless, because not only don't they have anything to work for, they aren't validated. Supposedly we all  have a purpose in life, but that's not to say that we all find it, or perhaps our ambitions fail. To have a purpose is to aim for something, to set an intention, to attempt to achieve a goal: a purpose is established with ideas from our environment or our imagination, talents are recognized, and a decision is made to move forward. There is a firmness of resolve. We become enthusiastic, energized, motivated, and most often passionate about what we want to achieve. Hopefully we have validation on our journey; however, sometimes we just have to go it alone, and do so because of our belief in our purpose. On the side of optimism, Henry David Thoreau wrote, "I have learned that if one advances confidently in the direction of his dreams and endeavors to live the life he has imagined, he will meet with a success unexpected in common hours." So go for it!

Optimism

Optimism is expecting the best to happen, projecting that all will be well. When my mother was going through tough times in her 90's wondering what would happen to her, I used to tell her to "think good thoughts." So many of our self improvement gurus talk and write about attracting good into our lives by thinking about good things, thinking about the positive instead of the negative, in other words, being optimistic. Norman Vincent Peale wrote a very inspiring and famous international best selling book published in 1952. Dr. Peale was a clergyman who was so interested in mental health that he established an out patient clinic next to his church. In the book, The Power of Positive Thinking, he wrote that maintaining positive thinking and a healthy and positive attitude would bring happiness and success. He helped many people achieve fulfillment in their lives. Today many books and sites on the computer deal with peace and serenity, so many people are searching. Since we do have choices as to what we think, the thought here is we might as well think about good things, and that everything is going to turn out okay, until proven otherwise. There is a direct opposite of optimism.  This is pessimism, and consequently it means the expectation that everything is wrong, or will go wrong, that most everything in life is bad. Have you ever known someone who has problem after problem, problems just seem to follow the person? Nothing ever seems to work out right for them. We are told that this is the nature of being negative and that negativity breeds negativity. Negative people don't enjoy their lives and can ruin not only their day, but another's. On the other hand, an optimistic person sees the good in life and seems to attract good, like the positive charge of a magnet. They are high energy people. A common expression about  how life is generally seen is: "the glass half full or half empty." This analogy means having a natural disposition that is either optimistic or pessimistic in the extreme, optimism being a full glass and pessimism, an empty one. For the optimistic person, his glass is even more than half full and is always that way. His temperament, or the way he seems his life mostly all the time, is joyful, having an overall feeling that all is well and will be well. People who are optimistic are not only nice to be around, but encouraging because of their enthusiasm and cheerfulness; and yet, they also seem to have an aurora of calmness about them. This is because they think, feel, and talk about, the bright side of life.  These are the people we refer to as having a "sunny disposition." Those who are optimistic are hopeful, feeling confident that their desires will be fulfilled. They are positive people even in the face of adversity, always finding a way to see the glass "full."  

Two Kinds of Success

When we think of being successful, do we think of owning things, or having qualities of "being?" Is success having that new car or a piece of expensive jewelry, or is it developing the qualities of love, faith, kindness, encouragement, and compassion which  make us successful as family members, workers, friends, and citizens? Actually, we can be successful at both. For when we are successful in eternal qualities we cannot help but be successful in our lives, and this success most certainly can lead to material success. Either way, success is individual and personal, and everyone's definition of it is different and varied. To want to succeed is normal and is a good thing. By definition, success is attaining or accomplishing an intended purpose or goal. It is any venture that ends well whether it is a self made business man, or a mother who raises her children on her own to be solid citizens. It is that movie star who is achieves an academy award, or a generous person who compassionately works with children in a third world country. Life is a series of goals and successes and is perpetual growth. Some successes lead to financial prosperity and some don't, but we do learn. A person seeking success can't help but have a sound mental attitude bringing forth joy, optimism, confidence, courage, imagination, initiative, innovation, and enthusiasm. Other goals may call forth faith, love, humility, patience, honesty, and tolerance. When we are truly successful we have lead with our hearts and fallen in love with our lives and our journeys. The thrill of it all involves the process of discovering our best talents, skills, abilities, and personal characteristics. The characteristics, attributes, qualities, whatever you choose to call them, are those things which I have been writing about all these months as current as the last one on "personal honesty." Our journeys on the way to accomplish our goals allow us to see what we are made of, and in the process some of us may even make an effective contribution to our fellow man, for to succeed is to be productive. To become successful demands concentration and focusing on doing whatever it takes to excel until the goal is reached. However, success may entail failure, therefore, the process includes having the courage to move through defeat and come out on the other side. Goals and successes continually are reached, some more quickly than others, and then there are those successes that become part of us, for once we learn to love and care, do we ever stop?

Personal Honesty

The quality of honesty is to tell the truth, and this is admirable. Have we ever looked at how honest we are about ourselves? What the truth is about us, and how do we find it?  First of all we have to be self aware and do some introspection asking questions such as "How do I feel today?" "What do I want?" and "If this is the last day of my life, am I doing what I want to be doing?" We should know why we are doing something, is it because we want to and it is who we are, or is it something someone wants us to do?" Are we trying to please ourselves (in a nice way), or trying to please someone else at our expense?" One time I read a quote that said, and I paraphrase: to conquer yourself is more than to conquer a city. We may not know how we feel because we have denied and stuffed our feelings in the past. It is also easier to deceive ourselves, and often others, about our motives and intentions. We need to be able to admit our imperfections, shortcomings, flaws, and mistakes having the courage to see ourselves as to whom we really are. We do this in order to find our part in our circumstances, difficulties, and relationships. This may require making some changes, maybe even some painful ones, but with the right attitude we can use our observations as opportunities to open ourselves up for self growth. It is  important to be open, genuine, authentic, earnest, and sincere, therefore, not only being true to ourselves, but as a gift to others. For when we are consistently honest, not only do we become comfortable to be around, but reliable and trustworthy. The bottom line is that being true to ourselves means we are being honest with ourselves about what we think, feel, have done, as well as what we want. And, not pretending to be someone we are not, instead what our parents, our friends, or society expects us to be.  We need to go where our hearts lead us if we are not hurting anyone in the process.  When people are dishonest there is a sense of secretiveness, and perhaps even dislike of themselves because they know they aren't  being who they are.  When we are honest and true to ourselves, we are confident, direct, and straightforward in words and actions because we know we have nothing to hide. The best policy is to talk and share openly about thoughts, feelings, and emotions. Life is relating to one another and we all need to know and feel we "get what we see." The soliloquy in William Shakespeare's Hamlet: "This above all - to thine ownself be true." is about choosing to be truthful to, and responsible, and respectful of, ourselves and others. For if we don't know our truth and aren't true to ourselves, how can we honest with others?

Your Intuition

"But, you know when I choose a film, I need to believe in it and believe I can do something special with it, and after a while that means not trying to judge or analyze why I should do it. You have to follow this intuition thing, which is a mystery to me," Juliette Binoche. What is this inner knowing and feeling, sometimes even a clear and sudden understanding of a complex situation, without using reason or having evidence, facts, or even normal justification? A sense of what feels right and true for us, an inner knowing and deep wisdom about small, and even big, challenges and decisions. There are basically two schools of thought on where intuition comes from. Some say our hearts and souls are guided beyond our rational thinking minds by an Infinite, all knowing, Intelligence or energy force, greater than us, and that intuition originates in our subconscious, and guides our soul's growth to our highest path and purpose. That our minds are wonderful for projects, solving problems, helping others, but not so good when it comes to figuring out our lives and what is best for us. We seem to have emotional, and even physical (feel it in our gut), sensations that may be our intuition, or is it that our intuition shows us what our hearts long for? Not waiting for life to be perfect, or circumstances to change, but honoring and "leading with our hearts." People believing this is where our intuition comes from would say it is one of the easiest ways to keep us on track and connected to what our Spirits want. Others would say that intuition is a matching game based on experience and an unconscious associative process whose origins we can't explain other than it takes place in the workings of the brain and our nerve cells. Part of a sensory system which operates without data from the five physical senses and keeps our body informed. Whatever is the origin of intuition, it is definitely a sixth sense that can help us find out the truth about the people around us, what may happen in our future, short and long term, why something happened in our lives and how we can try to fix it, when and how we can avoid danger or an unpleasant experience, and which activities and relationships will contribute towards our happiness and evolution as a human and spiritual being, and what will not. So, next time you seem to just "know things" and you don't even know how you know them, chances are this is your intuition.

Perspective is a Matter of Perception

In other words, how we perceive, or view, our lives with our senses, added to our opinions, experiences, and beliefs, cause us to have a particular way of interpreting, thinking, and feeling about the people, places, and things in our lives. We obtain and store knowledge and our minds form ideas and images that interrelate. Then our thinking and feeling about our circumstances create the perspective we come to have of our lives. For example, if we interpret the world to be safe, we will be comfortable in the world. If we feel the world is an unsafe place, chances are our perspective on life is that the world is an unsafe, scary place, and we will react to it that way. The way we think and feel about our life, also influences our attitudes. Attitudes are complex mental states involving beliefs, feelings, values, dispositions, that cause us to act in certain ways. If our perspective on life is a positive one, our mental state may be one of lightness and happiness, and if we have a negative, bad perspective on life, we will see through the eyes of negativity. Perspectives are personal as they are our impressions about our situations, circumstances, and issues. If we are upset, frustrated, sad, angry, or any other negative strong feeling (an emotion), we hear "keep things in perspective," or "look at it with a fresh perspective." Easier said than done. In its purest form this means to bring our thinking back to reality. However, things are relative, and reality may not be to our liking. How we look at our lives is based on our experiences and beliefs and may or may not be true to the facts. Not recognizing this is called a state of denial. If our perspective is based on feeling, it gets even trickier. Feelings are difficult to change. When our perspective on something, or life in general, is sad, that sadness is a feeling that is hard to change and accept even when reality is understood. The most effective way that our perspective can be changed is if we compare our situation to someone else, and if it is worse, we'll no doubt feel better, and if it is better, we'll probably feel worse.

Contemplation

There is a bronze and marble sculpture by the French craftsman, Auguste Rodin, called "The Thinker." It is of a man sitting with his back bent forward, his right elbow on his left knee, and the back of his right hand below his chin. It is said, "The Thinker," depicts a man in sober meditation battling with a powerful inner struggle, and often used to represent philosophy. As a visual, this sculpture exemplifies someone in contemplation. When we talk about contemplating, we are talking about reflecting deeply and thinking intently about the spiritual realm, for contemplation may also be prayer and lead to some forms of meditation. To contemplate, is to reflect, view and evaluate thoughtfully and carefully.  It is exercising the mind, or one's  power of reason in order to make inferences, decisions, and to arrive at solutions or sound judgments. Once something has been contemplated, and usually the process takes a long time, evidence manifests and proof comes to bear in behavior and attitudes. Other forms of reflection are pondering, musing, and mulling things over. These things infer to consider thoughtfully and seriously, but not as deeply, and not as long. There is also speculation and rumination. These forms of thinking differ from contemplation in that good and bad thoughts are considered, whereas contemplation is of spiritual values, the good and the beautiful, the pure and the just. Thoughts in contemplation take root in the mind and produce their own circumstances of kindness and grace as these habits grow out of this type of deep thought. "Man is buffered by circumstances so long as he believes himself to be the creature of outside conditions, but when he realizes that he is a creative power, and that he may command the hidden soil and seed of his being out of which circumstances grow, he then becomes the rightful master of himself," James Allen, the the author of As A Man Thinketh. And from Philippians 4:8; "Finally brethren, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report, if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things." Priests, as well as friars (brothers, monks) and nuns, are known for their contemplative praying. However, anyone fitting the above description can be, relatively speaking, called practicing contemplation.

Release

Something we should strive for is to distinguish between what we can change and what we need to accept. Last week I wrote about the freedom that comes with change. Tonight I am writing about releasing those people, places, and things that we need to let go of and liberate if we can't change them; and therefore, move forward. Also, those negative thoughts, emotions, and feelings that keep us blocked from enjoying our lives and being grateful. Negative thoughts, and wanting to control where we cannot, drag us down, consume us, become obsessive, and drain us of our energy. When we summon the courage to change the things we can and let those go that we cannot, our lives will bless us. There is a cathartic rush when we stop resisting and let go of  concerns, pent up frustrations, hurt, and anger. This sudden flow of feelings and emotions is not only emotionally purging, but psychotherapeutic and conducive to good health of mind and body. It may not only be anger or frustration we need to let go of, but grief over a person who has lost their battle with life, or other sources of loss. There are states of grieving; the last one is acceptance. It is important to feel our feelings and then do what we can to resolve them in ourselves. When we are not able to come to an acceptance of what we cannot change, we continue to think about what is wrong in our lives and spin our wheels. And our anger, hurt, and grief may be turned inward causing us to become inconsolable and depressed. When we are able to let go of what we are resisting or grieving over, we let go of sorrow and feelings of tenseness allowing our minds and bodies to relax. Surprisingly our burdens are lifted. When our energy is either drained or our minds are full of negative energy, there is no place for positive energy to become part of us. At this point, it is important to get our focus off material issues and place it on those values that remain intact like hope, faith, and love. I really like this quote by Emmet Fox: "It makes no difference how deeply seated may be the trouble, how hopeless the outlook, how muddled the tangles, how great the mistakes. A sufficient realization of love dissolves it all." Yes, love, that word as a verb that causes us to get into action mentally and/or physically with a goal that we will be compassionate toward everyone we come contact with.

Freedom

The kind of freedom I am writing about tonight comes from the transition from a dark and depressed place into a joy of living. Change does take place and what goes down will eventually come up. Cycles are common in human beings just like the cycles of nature according to the seasons. We must, no matter how hard it becomes, to remember to keep our faith that difficulties and despair do pass. I keep coming back to the prayer of St. Francis of Assisi because it is so poignant and has to much truth. My blog on "A Legacy of Humility" that I wrote on January 27, 2012, was about the way he taught people to pray, e.g., "where there is darkness, let me sow light." Sometimes it is hard to see the light at the end of the tunnel. I  heard one time that is because often there is a turn in the tunnel, not because there is a dead end. We, and we alone, allow things to hurt us. No one can take away our spirits and things of the spirit. Joy is one of them along with who we are when we are gentle souls, our kindness, our compassion, our empathy, and our love whether it is of another person, an animal, or nature. There is a phrase about a Phoenix Rising from the Ashes. As the story goes, the phoenix is a mythical bird with fiery plumage that lives up to 100 years. Near the end of its life, it settles in to its nest of twigs which then burns ferociously, reducing bird and nest to ashes. And from those ashes, a fledgling phoenix arises - renewed and reborn. Often when life gets the darkest and most frustrating it is easy to forget to have the faith that everything changes. Along with the prayer of St. Frances, I often write about the fruit of the spirit in Galatians 5 in the Bible. See my "People of the Light" blog entry on April 5, 2012. As I wrote in yet another blog, I write about ideals, things to strive for, but to me this is what life is all about.  What is really important is how we feel about ourselves and others and how we treat ourselves and others, including how we treat our animals and the planet. Any time you say "my" you are referring to your ego which loves material things. And, by the way, the ego loves conflict and hates the present moment. And, if there is one thing I have tried to bring forth in these blogs and my own life, is to live in the here and now. Yes, we learn from the past and can make amends, but it is over, never to be repeated - not one word, not one action. Oh, and the future, well who knows where we go from here, let's just hope, that like the fledgling phoenix, we become renewed and reborn.

Disloyalty

Disloyalty is a terrible thing. It is being unfaithful and not being true to the people you serve, or the people you should be when you have the power to hurt others and/or their property. I witnessed an act of disloyalty at my condominium for the last four days, by our "in good faith" elected Board of Directors. When you elect a condominium board you do so with faith that it will act in the owners' best interests. You trust the members will be fair, loyal, and dedicated to doing the best job they can to all who are concerned especially when you pay association dues. You expect them to emotionally, sincerely, and with empathy commit themselves to take care of the owners' interests the best they can. An injustice has happened to us. Our secluded community, that could hardly be seen from the street, has been striped away of tress that were not trimmed, but hacked at and destroyed by a "crew of laborers" who in no way had any sense of somewhat retaining nature's beauty. I was told two days before it was to be done, and that trimming of the tress was posted, but I am not the only one who didn't see it. As a reason, I was told "they just have to be trimmed and the board has made the decision and can do what they want." Apparently our neighbors asked to have some trees cut, but why so many and why were the trees all around the building involved? I have no idea why the board members did not even have the courtesy to wait ten days until the annual board meeting to tell us what they planned on doing. We have listened to buzzing, chopping, and branches being cut into bits and put into machines for four days and this isn't a very  big place, only 25 units, and now I heard it is going to go on for another three days. I understand this very board, which has held the power for many years, may not run this year. Do they think it is fair to leave the damage they are responsible for to other owners? They need to at least clean up what they have done, and this tree business is not the only thing that needs addressing. We have had barbed wire on the East side of our building for a year, and now the length of barbed wire has quadrupled. It is almost as if we live in a prison camp, and ramshackle buildings and falling down fences from next door have been exposed creating ugly views. I can see the pillage from where I write this. I am afraid to look at the West side of the condo, and from the North side I heard the "crew" attack the beautiful pine trees all day yesterday outside my bedroom window. I think the board members have gone too far this time, have not done right by us, and must have no sense of what is peaceful and beautiful. So let this be a lesson in disloyalty that has left scars literally and figuratively.

Perseverance, Persistence

There is a difference between these two words, but basically they mean the same as far as intensity of thought and behavior is concerned. To persevere and persist mean to have the ability to stick with something to the end, to keep going with determination and refuse to stop until the goal is achieved or there is a dead end. Perseverance is associated more with endurance and hardship and may entail a reward for not backing down. A famous Roman poet, Ovid, who wrote mythological poems, wrote, "Endure and persevere, this pain will turn good by and by." Persistence, on the other hand, is not so much enduring hardship and using intense effort as it is a tenacious hanging on until the end. Either way, if people are persevering and persistent, they are earnest and go forth in a methodical way despite obstacles, difficulties, and distractions without complaining. They are serious about the accomplishment and completion of a goal and pursue it in an eager, conscientious, devoted, heartfelt, open, and genuine way. Persevering people are: unshakable, steady, inflexible, unyielding, unfaltering, relentless, resolute, and determined. Persistence is more than trying. Trying is an attempt to perform an action or endeavor to accomplish something, but the intensity and effort are not there. Persistent people are steadfast and do not waver or budge in their belief, effort, plan, or even refusal. People who carry on persist in an enterprise or undertaking in spite of counter influences, opposition, or discouragement. If they are not persevering, the options are to give up, give in, submit to, and to succumb to and surrender. The industrialist and philanthropist who founded Standard Oil, John D. Rockefeller, had this to say about perseverance, "I do not think there is any other quality so essential to success of any kind as the quality of perseverance. It overcomes almost everything, even nature." "Courage and perseverance have a magical talisman, before which difficulties disappear and obstacles vanish into thin air," is a quote by John Qunicy Adams. We have to believe in ourselves and our passions and dreams, and it often takes perseverance to see them through and not become discouraged. J.K. Rowling, the author of the Harry Potter series, was rejected by 12 publishers.

Protect and Serve

There are groups of people who sign up to protect and serve. Some are our military, our police, and our fire fighters. They do what they do to protect and serve so that we can be safe and secure. We may not be safe in our personal life, but great steps and sacrifices are taken to preserve safety and security in our country, our states, our cities, our communities, and our neighborhoods. Being free from harm and danger is due to the protection we receive. Those who protect us are heroes. Animal rescue groups are also composed of heroes who provide safety for all of our creatures. Sometimes there are "unsung heroes" who don't get the recognition they deserve. Heroes carry on resolutely and with undaunted determination to help others. They fight for causes and look out for other's interests, guard, protect, and rescue. Protection is a shield from danger, injury, destruction, or damage. It takes courage and bravery to be a hero. The brave man recognizes the power of thought and isn't defeated by fear, anxiety, frustration, or anger, but rises above these negatives and assumes a positive and victorious approach to life. Courage is the willingness to do the right thing in spite of fear. It is a quality of spirit that enables certain people to face danger, pain, and failure for the larger picture. When someone goes to war, he is supporting his country and its beliefs. Beliefs differ among nations and that is the main reason for conflict and confrontation. In an ideal, perfect word, we would all realize that we are one, that we are all human beings. Many hold a vision of peace in the midst of conflict and imagine and dream of freedom for each one of us. For peace to rise, we need to honor each other and to seek common ground one by one, until then, we will always have those that seek to protect and serve, and to them we say "thank you."

Freedom

I am writing not about freedom from being oppressed or restrained from acting or speaking as we wish, but freedom of our thoughts, emotions, and feelings, freedom to be ourselves. We can be free in our thoughts regardless of our current circumstances, challenges, and issues. We can go anywhere in our minds through the power of prayer, meditation, and our imagination. We have an inborn freedom to think on our own, and our emotions and feelings come from that thinking. No one can tell us how to feel. We are free to think independently and recognize the control we have over our own minds. We can consider evidence, keep an open mind, observe, analyze, question, approach problems both intuitively and logically, and seek the truth. There are no limitations to the power of thought. We are able to think and feel unhampered and unrestricted. With this release comes the positive rather than the negative. It is the nature of thinking that transports us from our circumstances and leads us to build our lives toward our passions, goals, and dreams. It is important to be free of  other people's opinions and allow ourselves to be guided by our natural selfness. We don't have to depend on external signals, but live and have our being from our natural inner voice living in harmony with our beliefs, thoughts, and feelings, and ignoring pressure to do otherwise. Respect your inner nature, trust yourself, your thoughts and feelings. Trust your instincts, insights, and intuition. Ask yourself, "What's my own nature if there are no outside forces telling me who or what I should be?" When we think about what makes us happy and what our dreams are, regardless of our circumstances, or what other people are telling us to think, we are free.

"Easy Does It"

"Easy Does It' is an idiom which is a common, everyday phrase, expression, or saying whose meaning cannot be understood by the individual words. The phrase, or idiom, "easy does it," is a among other things, a common slogan of twelve step programs, used as a  motto or expression usually in particular situations as encouragement from one person to another to relax and take it easy. It is almost soothing just to say the word "easy." If we are taking it easy, or easing into something, we are doing it carefully and at the same time becoming less tense and stressed about situations that are bothering us. This makes other things, like happiness instead of sadness, possible in the meantime. When we take things easier we are less overwhelmed by our circumstances and there is a feeling of relief.  The object is to find easier, more relaxing ways of doing things. When we take it easy we become gentle with people, places, things, and ourselves. We see a new point of view and find a simpler way to approach a problem. When we live life with ease, we find it generally goes smoother. There is comfort in doing things more slowly and gently to help soothe ourselves mentally and physically so we can bring about good effects for ourselves and others. Frankly, we have less confusion and anxiety. There is something to be said for an easy going, unhurried way of life, easing into the moment and not worrying about the past and future. Simply by calming down and not making life so hard and complicated, leads to new feelings of serenity. Following are the lyrics to Supertramps's song "Easy Does it,"...And if you know who you are, you are your own superstar. And only you can shape the music that you make. So when the crowds disappear, and only the silence is here, watch yourself, easy does it, easy does it, easy while you wait." And, if we do take it easy we will be "rolling gently down the stream, merrily, merrily, gently down the stream."

Change

Change is inevitable, sometimes we like it and sometimes we don't. Whether a change is welcome or not is not the issue, it is how we respond to it. We can try and hold tightly to what is being changed, try to keep things the same, and be uncomfortable because it is happening anyway. Or we can lean into the change, be adaptable and flexible, and accept it into our lives. As Alan Watts has to say, "The harder we try to catch hold of the moment, to seize a pleasant sensation...the more elusive it becomes..." The only thing that doesn't change is change itself, except for the past. Change can be minor or transformative. It is all right to feel disappointed, skeptical, resentful, joyous, excited, or confused about our changing circumstances. The important thing is to accept what we feel. No matter how permanently fixed in the center of our lives it may seem, whatever we experience in this ever-changing life is sure to pass. And difficult situations often bring out qualities in us that otherwise might not have risen to the surface, such as courage, faith, and our need for one another. As far as changing ourselves is concerned, no one can make us change and no one can stop us from changing. Only we can decide what changes we want to make and know that it only takes a slight shift in direction to begin to change our lives. We can only change ourselves, it is an exercise in futility and frustration to try and change the behavior of others. The serenity prayer by Reinhold Niebuhr is pertinent here as he tells us to pray for the courage to change the things we can and have the wisdom to know what we can't. Possibly the best way to react to change is to experience all that life has to offer by remaining teachable when change comes. Staying open minded, replacing old ides with the new, and as changes occur letting go of old defenses and attitudes that aren't working work for us anymore. If we don't get too attached to any one way to approach life, and adjust to the changes in our lives, we will live with more happiness, less stress, and our lives may become one adventure after another.

Flexibility with a Twist

When we are flexible, we are capable of making changes by bending to situations and adapting to our circumstances. We are not rigid, but pliable and don't stress ourselves if everything is not the way we want it to be. Being flexible is when we make choices to weather storms by allowing them to blow through us without resistance. It is relaxing, not fighting, and going with what confronts us, or the decisions we have to make. When flexible, we are open to all possibilities without fear and ego-driven attachments. I have had this piece on flexibility started for a couple of days, but because of, what I now realize is the subconscious, I have not been able to write it. I have been facing a decision that has caused me to be inflexible. I have been in conflict with myself and fighting what has confronted me while a depression built up, almost unbeknownst to me. I have not been adapting to a particular situation, but trying to make a decision coming from fear and anxiety. In my resistance and ensuing decision not to leave my comfort zone, I ultimately have disappointed myself and others. In my resistance I have suffered.  I know if I am willing to make changes, accept life on "life's terms," and come from a positive place with a good attitude, things seem to run more smoothly, but I am not perfect. I am not always like the stately palm tree weathering a storm, rather sometimes feel like a piece of sage brush hurled about the by desert wind. It is hard to make changes about what we know for the unknown. What I write are my inspirations and philosophies, but they are also ideals. What I must, we must, remember is that we are human. Striving to live a certain way, doesn't mean we are a failure when we don't. I am finishing my thoughts on the advantages of being flexible because sometimes we learn by knowing about what it is like to not live up to an ideal. I may not follow the ideals I write about, and always walk my talk, but I will continue to write about them because I am learning about myself and my beliefs, they give me something to strive for, it is good for me, writing makes me happy, and just possibly, somewhere along the way, someone might be able to relate to something I have to say. I wrote on fear, perfection, willingness, changing our thoughts, and failure. Perhaps I should reread them for being flexible to weather storms is certainly an ideal and trait I wish to possess.

What Does "Being" Mean

When I wrote about "reverence for nature," I wrote about just "being" rather than doing, being like the existing of nature. "Being" means letting our life run its course and accepting people, places, and things, and ourselves, as is rather than trying to be in control all the time. Of course we have to prepare and plan, but then we should relax and know that all will go the way it is supposed to. Think good thoughts and have a good attitude.  Attitude is a state of being as is joyfulness, faithfulness, and being in balance. When we are being, we are in the present moment where we find peace. We are not full of tension and worry. These come when we are thinking about the past and the future. The goal is to be in the present moment rather than "living in the past," or "becoming in the future." In the moment, the qualities of spirit...peace, hope, and love are immediately available and can be expressed in our everyday living because these intangible qualities are ingrained in our being. Who we are. We can also be forgiving, tolerant, and happy now instead of postponing positive and productive living to some vague and indefinite future. By being, we are not wasting time dreaming about the rich life we may live next year, or ten years from now, but it is beginning to to live our best right now, today. Putting our creative energy into the present because of the awareness of the infinite possibilities in each magic moment. In being we have aids in knowing. They are our instinct, intuition, and insight. We all have inborn patterns of behavior that are responsive to certain stimuli. This is our instinct and it happens naturally. We also have intuition. Because of our intuition we are able to quickly understand and interpret situations and people's behavior without using reason. Then, we have insight, which we gain partially by using our intuition. Insight is developed more in some people than in others. It is when we have a feeling, emotion, or thought that helps us know something essential about people, places, or things. We are able to form a clear and deep perception, and, often suddenly, understand a complex situation. These ways of knowing are not based on hard facts or evidence and don't entail our five sense, but are more like a sixth sense. Instinct, intuition, and insight, are available to use in our current state of being, and, along with the accumulation of our experiences, moment to moment, we are not only "being," we have the reality of ourselves.

Reverence for Ourselves and Nature

The word nature is derived from the Latin word "natura" which means essential qualities or innate disposition. A human being's nature is the way he is, a sum total of how he thinks, feels, acts and reacts; his characteristics, traits, and qualities; as well as the complexity of his emotional and intellectual attributes. We may hear that "it is just human nature" for them to be kind.  The word nature also means the physical world we live in which is made up of essential things like plants, animals, landscapes, and what is intrinsic to them.  Nature is also made up of rocks, forests, oceans, and beaches. Broadly speaking it is everything that exists anywhere including not only the earth, but the universe (sky, moon, and stars).  In its purest form nature develops of its own accord and is not brought into being by human intervention. It just "exists." Many people believe we should align ourselves with nature, meaning that we can  learn from nature's steady and calm pace, and perhaps even reach of state of not so much doing, but just "being." John Burroughs, American naturalist and essayist had this to say, "I go to nature to be soothed and healed, and to have my senses put in order." For example, if we want to be serene we can listen to, and watch, the birds instead of always hurrying through our days, or perhaps we can make shapes out of clouds. We can restore our sense of balance by slowing down and appreciating the sights and rhythms of the natural world. It is  important to savor the tiny, simple, beautiful moments in our lives. Mary Oliver is a popular living American poet whose poem "Wild Geese' asks us to "...tell (her) about despair (ours), and I will tell you mine. Meanwhile the world goes on. Meanwhile the sun and the clear pebbles of the rain are moving across the landscapes, over the prairies and the deep trees, the mountains and the rivers. Meanwhile the wild geese, high in the clean blue air are heading home again. Wherever you are, no matter how lonely, the world offers itself to your imagination, calls to you like the wild geese, harsh and exciting - over and over announcing your place in the family of things."

Joy and Happiness

Some sources say happiness is the same thing as joy: a sense of well being and contentment. Other sources say that joy comes more from within and has a spiritual connection, while happiness is usually triggered by external situations and events. Happiness is a celebration. It is an emotion that causes jubilation, elation, and glee and is noticeable by others because of facial expressions and body language.  Whereas joy is more calm, serene, and sacred.  It is true that joy is one of the fruit of the spirit noted in the Bible along with gentleness, kindness, and goodness. Also, in the prayer of St. Francis of Assisi, he asks, "where there is sadness, let me sow joy." Other words used in reference to joy are: joyful, joyfulness, joyousness, overjoyed, and rejoice. Joy and happiness are positive stimuli and emotions of feeling good and that all is well.  An emotional sensation is created by someone, or something, causing a state of mind that one seeks to achieve because the feelings created are so pleasurable. A quote of Sarah Ban Breathnach in her book Simple Abundance is, "With patience, beauty blossoms and our hearts experience not only  happiness, which is often fleeting, but a wellsprings of joy that refreshes and renews." Happiness is having a childlike sense of curiosity, wonder, enthusiasm, and delight. Joy is more private and rooted deeply in our hearts and souls.  The goal is to be aware of what it is that truly makes us happy and learn to savor small, authentic moments that bring us simple pleasures. Today we can know that we are worthy and deserving of happiness and joy. We are meant to enjoy life along with our trials and tribulations, our pain and our sorrow. So, look for the joy. Avail yourselves of each moment's opportunity to embrace and experience the joy and serenity that are uniquely yours. Louis Bogan, who has been called by some the most accomplished American woman poet of the twentieth century, writes: "I cannot believe that the inscrutable universe turns on an axis of suffering, surely the strange beauty of the world must somewhere rest on pure joy."

On Responsibility

If we are responsible, we are dependable, reliable, and can be counted on.  We have reached a certain maturity where not only are we responsible for ourselves,we are responsible to others.  We are also considered as having wisdom, good judgment, and being trustworthy.  It is empowering to take responsibility for our decisions and actions, and furthermore, to be given responsibility by someone else.  This means other people believe in us.  They ask us to do things because we are consistent in our performance and behavior besides being dependable and reliable. "Nothing brings out the best in a person than having someone believe in him and trust him with responsibility."  It is important that we be responsible to others, and yet being overly responsible may be overwhelming and draining.  We must take care of ourselves so that we can help other people.  There is an extent to how much we can, or should, take on.  We don't have to take care of everybody and everything;  we need to know our limits.  What we can do is set our priorities, do our best, and then detach with love and not feel guilty.  Following are the healthy ways of being responsible:  we are loyal to our values, keep an open mind, rid ourselves of anger and resentment, express our ideas and feelings, be realistic in our expectations, make healthy choices, and be grateful for our blessings. We are tolerant of others and listen with our ears and our hearts.  There are many different kinds of responsibilities:  human, social, legal, moral, and professional to name a few. Also, many believe they are responsible, or answerable, to a higher power.  It is a paradox that we grow and become free by becoming responsible.  James Allen, who wrote As a Man Thinkith, about how important our thoughts are, reflected that a man sooner or later discovers that he is the master gardener of his soul, the director of his life.

Failure Is a Part of Living

We all want to do our best, we all want to be successful, achieve, and meet our goals.  This is natural and part of being human.  We have doubts, and don't like to make mistakes or fail.  We don't like to be unsuccessful, not achieve our intended purpose, fall short of what was expected, leave something undone, fail to notice something, or neglect to do something.   All of these things lead to being uncomfortable, disappointed, and frustrated.  However, we need to accept mistakes and failures as inevitable parts of the adventure of living, and be willing to make them, "nothing ventured, nothing gained."  There will always be some new challenge for us to face because life is ever changing and so are we.  Because of this constant change, every action we take involves some risk of failure.  But, by failing, we can grow in awareness, so we not only can  change our attitudes and behavior, but we can learn from them so we don't repeat our errors.  When we relieve ourselves of the burden of trying to be perfect, and honestly admit our mistakes, we open ourselves up for growth. Experiencing failure is all a part of being human and living.  Although we may not be able to control the circumstances that caused us to fail, we can control how we respond to our mistakes and failures.  The important thing is to do the best we can and accept whatever happens. The goal is to learn how to rebound.  To paraphrase a pertinent saying:  when you fall off your horse, get back on it.  "Those who dare to fail miserably can achieve greatly" was said by a man who who achieved a great deal in his short life, John F. Kennedy.  When we make a mistake or fail, rather than getting down on ourselves, we need to take setbacks and turn them into something positive, something we can use to reach our goals.   Life is sometimes lived "two steps forward and one step back."  The famous basketball player, Michael Jordan, is quoted as saying, "I've never been afraid to fail."  Many people are successful because they keep all thoughts of failure out of their minds.